The Story Behind the Men Series: The Ex Fiance

What's the story with the Ex Fiance?

I met the ex fiance 3 months after experiencing my first heart break at 23. When we met, I was still healing and he knew this. We had an instant connection, there was this innocence to him that I just loved.

We met August 10, 2007. We started dating August 23,2007 and were engaged November 23, 2007. Everything happened very quickly, too quickly. I knew I shouldn't have said yes, not because it was too soon, but because I was still healing from my previous relationship.

You know when some shit happens, the straw that breaks the camels back and you sit back and think... I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. The warning signs were there. But something kept me there... And that's what this blog is about.

I don't like to use the word never but the Ex Fiance NEVER told me no... Even when he knows he probably should have.
I can't say I only received flowers on special occasions. Even if it was just a single rose, I got flowers at least ever 3 days. No exaggeration.

The materialistic girl in me wants to mention he always bought me little things here and there :).

I came first and he would do anything to put a smile on my face, ironically that included lying... GO FIGURE.

He was always on my side, one thing that boy was to me was LOYAL. I never feared him cheating, even when we didn't have sex for two months... I didn't think it was because he was laying with someone else. Turns out I was right... I remember having this conversation with my cousin THAT GIRL. He was dealing with a lot of stress and guilt because of the lying he was doing that I didn't know about yet. He was also working two jobs and trying out law school.

He and I would have made some cute babies but that would have been all. He is a good guy, but a lot was lost. Trust isn't there. I stopped having as much fun with him because I was very angry at a lot of things.

Also, I grew up very close to my family and believe that when you marry the man, you marry the family. I dislike the way his father treated him. When we first got engaged we road tripped to Canada so that he and I could meet. Once there the man said he had a cold and didn't want to meet up, not even for a hello. He pulled the same stunt when I went up there a second time with my mother and friend.

I do not get along with his sister. Her and I have had our differences. Personally I think she isn't all there. She is like the best of both worlds, she could be the nicest and the bitchiest. My way of handling it: steer clear. I stood out of her way and she sometimes out of mine.

His mother and I have also had our exchange of words. A time in Atlantic City I cheated (it was a kiss) on him and the Ex Fiance went and TOLD HIS MOTHER. I might not be an expert on relationships but I do know certain things parents do not need to know. That being one of them. I had written an email to the mother apologizing for my actions and hurting her son. She responded with a very well written email explaining how my words have no value and she will believe I am sorry when I show it, and that I am a slut... She wrote it in a very educated way, which to me was even more insulting. I just found this to be a little hypocritical coming from a woman who is having an affair with a married man.

After the break up he and I have had our ups and downs (read here for an example). I can't really get mad at him though because when I went through dealing with the break up with El Difunto I did things I normally wouldn't do (like show up to his house unannounced to return all the letters he ever gave me- I left them on the windshield of his car). Its hard to watch him hurt and sometimes I truly believe I will never find someone like him but when you accept someone you have to accept them flaws and all. His flaws I'm not willing to put up with, atleast not right now.