Flip the Bill

Last week I was out celebrating my friends birthday. 10 Bad girls looking hot.

A friend of mine had my keys that I had left in his car the night before. He hands me my keys and introduces me to his friend- introduce Mexico (he is Mexican but doesn't look it).

I guess my friend had noticed his friend had some interest and had asked me to keep an eye on him while he went to go get more drinks. I found it kind of odd that a 25 year old man who wasn't tipping over drunk needed to be watched, I played along.

Mexico and I ended up talking for the majority of the night, and dancing, and tap kissed a few times towards the end. I know, I didn't even know the dude. Not very lady like of me and I can't even blame it on the alcohol... I was VERY SOBER.

We exchange numbers- and text a good amount the entire week. He tells me about this vegan restaurant (I am a vegeterian)... I'M DOWN. We make plans to go later in the week.

This happened yesterday.

The conversation was good...

The food was alright...

The bill came...

We both reached for it...

The fucker let me pay.

NOW please don't get me wrong... I don't mind paying every once in a while. BUT

1. It was our first time out. Do a little something to impress a girl.


2. HE invited me out...

I usually don't drink but we had time to kill until I had to leave and after what had just happened, I didn't have my girls to laugh about this with at the moment. I would go laugh in my head over a drink.

We went to a small restaurant in the Lower East Side called Oliva. We sat at the bar and each had 3 sangrias.

Time to pay the bill...

He says he has to go to the ATM...

The bartender tells me it is 29 dollars...

I'm thinking "ATM for 29 bucks and you didn't even pay for dinner?" Maybe he just needs tip money, I can give him tip money... I pull out my wallet and hand him a 20.

I ended up paying for half the drinks.

My older sister Pang says CUT HIM OFF.

I say he is taking me out on another date, and he will pay... and then I will cut him off.

Stern v. Free Spirit

Since I've been slacking on the blogging, I decided to blog randomly to make up for loss time.

You might not remember His Boys Girl...
(read about her in the highlighted link)

She's been very good to me ever since I met her. She had asked me how I was and I didn't answer, a few days later (yesterday) I sent her this email:

Hey His Boys Girl,

I know this email is RANDOM...I have some stuff on my mind. I've spoken to my girls about it but of coarse their opinion is going to be biased, even though they try to be as truthful as they can.

Obbbbvvvviioooussslllyyy this e-mail is about Fitness lol...I don't understand why I am having trouble with this. I know he and I cannot be together, our personalities don't mix. He is stern and serious, I am a free spirit and like to laugh- even at things that are serious... You have to find some humor in it (at least I do). In the end, this is the real reason behind all of our problems.

I felt I couldn't open my mouth without there being something wrong with what I said so eventually I stopped talking. That ended up being a problem as well. That's no way to live, when communication is fucked ITS FUCKED. Its weird because I'm not one to ever have a problem with communicating with someone. I actually pride myself in my ability to talk out a problem, maybe not at the exact moment but give me a few minutes and I'll be good.

I told him from the get that I wasn't ready for the downs that came with being with somebody. Usually I am a much stronger person when it comes to dealing with this but I knew I didn't give myself enough time. I've written and erased a few times looking for the right way to word this but I can't so here is a weak attempt: The thing I'm having a hard time dealing with isn't the fact that we aren't together. I understand the reasons why and the desire I had to work things out isn't there because I need to be with somebody who loves and accepts me... ALLLLL of me, and vice versa. I want to be able to grow and be able to make mistakes without being worried that I won't be forgiven if its not something major. Walking on eggshells isn't something I could get used to... But I won't deny that I loved him and it seems he is having a much easier time with this. For the most part I am okay until I get reminded...

Anyway, thanks for reading :), I hope your anniversary went well.

IMWIR

Duty Calls

When Fitness and I broke up I found myself talking to the Ex Fiance about it and he was surprisingly very supportive. I have never told him Fitness and I were an item but he wasn't stupid, it was unspoken knowledge.

When I told him Fitness said I was unstable he said "you aren't unstable, you are just delicate. It takes a special kind of guy to be with you IMWIR and that guy is ME!" I bursted into tears. Until this very moment I did not realize how dependant I was. Even through our break up, and me being with Fitness I still spoke to the Ex Fiance every other day about nothing, or something.

It's reminds me of the break dancer, I know I could always count on him to tell me the truth without being harsh- and laugh about the situation if need be.

I've been asked many times- especially by Fitness... WHY do I still keep in touch with the Ex Fiance.

Despite his downfalls, and the cause of the end of our relationship I was going to marry him for a reason. He will always be a friend of mine.

The Ex Fiance left to the Army on Sunday, the last two days before he left we made time to see each other and it was so easy to just sit and eat with him.

Saying good bye to him was hard. I cried, a few times while with him... I cried after seeing him... Even now, when I am alone I'll cry. I miss him. I guess you really don't know what you have until it is gone. I can no longer call him at random times when I am bored.

The break dancer tells me he thinks it is loneliness. The fact that Fitness and I are no longer together and then the Ex Fiance leaves. I do think that might play a part in why I am so sensitive BUT I don't think I would have missed him any less.

I've never really been good at good-bye's anyway.

Summers Gone By SO FAST

Starzgazr said it best- we have been slacking on our blogging... Well at least I have :-\





That's what the summer time does to me I suppose.





Another reason I have been slacking on my blogging is that I honestly don't like to blog when I am not happy and despite all the good things that have happened in the last month (stay tuned) I've had a hard time with

1. Feeling stuck due to the NYPD not hiring, it's the job I want and I have done everything in my power to make sure I got into the class that just passed and NOTHING. Thanks Bloomberg, I owe you one... No, really. psh. The only thing that has kept me positive is that the people who got in this class took the test in 2005. I took my test in 2006 so hopefully next class I AM IN.


2. Fitness and I are officially no longer together. This happened about 3 weeks ago. I am somewhat over it now lol but I don't know WHY I let the assholeish personalities get to me. He was so stern and set in his ways and not sympathetic, it reminded so much of El Difunto. Why is it that the two who are being assholes during the break ups are the ones I have a hard time getting over. It's a game I suppose and I had let them win.

Fitness and I are trying to remain friends now. He is a very distant friend. Whatever, in due time I guess. I promise I will blog about what happened another time.

I went SKYDIVING and it was one of the greatest rushes I have ever had. I never really considered myself much of a dare devil UNTIL I sky dived and listed all the things I have wanted to do in my life. Most of them are pretty risky compared to the people who surround me.

• Tattoo CHECK


• Lasik CHECK


• Sky Dive CHECK


• Boxed CHECK


• Attempted to join the military CHECK


• Semi nude pics CHECK

Ummmm okay, maybe I haven't done too much that would be considered risky.

Semi Nude pics. Please keep in mind I had a very amature photographer, I plan on doing another shoot in Sept. with a professional photographer... This photo is not one of the best ones but it didn't have my face in it, so it's the one I chose to put in here... It hasn't been edited at all except for the censored sign I have placed there myself lol.

THIS WAS A SHOT TAKEN WHILE I WAS GETTING READY FOR ANOTHER SHOT

I've been beach bumming it and just enjoying the summer. Dancing lots of salsa and putting all my bathing suits to use!

Later Bloggers!