My Public FUCK YOU

Those who know me know I don't have a good relationship with my father.

We both have very strong personalities. He doesn't back down, and I don't back down.

The man is almost impossible to get along with.

I had 7 years I didn't speak to him because when I did- it would turn into a fight, so I cut off all communication... And we lived in the same house.

A few years ago (very recent) I decided- I didn't want him to pass and I am still angry about a lot. So I sat down and spoke to him.

I pleaded my case and said all I want is some sort of apology.

He told me I deserved everything I got.

It took everything in me that day to stand up and walk away without saying anything or crying. But I did it. You would think I would have learned my lesson then.

At one point I thought MAYBE IT IS ME. But I see the relationship my sisters have with him, and the advice my mother gives me and I realize- the guy is just an asshole. Yes, my father = a butt hole.

Yesterday I wanted to sit down with him and tell him about the ex fiance and i- let him know we aren't together so that he doesn't keep complaining that nobody talks to him and he has to find shit out through the grapevine.

My mom suggest I don't do it.

I decide to treat him the way he is requesting and I speak to him.

I sat down and told him that I wanted to talk to him. By now he knows that the ex fiance and I are not together, we were having our differences- he lied about a few things, and it was just not working out.

He asked me if it was over for real.

I said yes.

He then told me not to think I'm going to be running loose that he already noticed I started acting crazy. (I go out too much according to him).

I am giving you the PG version...

I told him I am 25, going out has never gotten in the way of school or work, I have never been in trouble- never came home pregnant... You guys asked for a BA from me and you got it.

Regardless, this conversation isn't about that- I just wanted to address the ex fiance issue with him personally.

To him I say stupid me for even trying... you are the one who gets what you deserve... And not the way he thinks I got what I deserved. When you die a lonely man it is because you have pushed all the ones who know the real you away.