I loved you once, I love you still, I always have, I always will...

It's been snowing in New York. I wasn't in the mood to go out in the snow again, take the train, and find something to do while out in the snow. I had spend a drunken Saturday night caught in the blizzard and the last thing I wanted to do was this... but that is what the guy I was suppose to hang out with wanted to do.
NOTE TO SELF: Date only men who drive.

This guy I had met at the Fundraiser I had put together, he came with my little sisters friend, we had good chemistry and kept in touch. Nothing has ever happened between him and I. I had went on a double date with my little sister, her friend (which is his cousin), him, and I... and he let me pay for the movie. I wasn't even craving a popcorn but I let him get me one out of spite. Sad I know... I just think it is proper etiquette, as the guy, if you invite the girl out TO PAY.

Anyway, I make my way to Union Square, I call the guy and he does not pick up. I send him a text and then get a call from the Ex Fiance. This was the day he was due to come home from basic but due to the snow storm his flight had been delayed. I told him I was in Forever 21 in Union Square and described what the city was like. After some short chit chat he has to let go of the phone, tells me he will call me later and we hang up.

I am online to pay when the guy calls me and tells me he was running late, the transportation from NJ was running slow. He comes to the register where I am paying, I ask him what the plan of action is and he tells me he doesn't know, we will just wing it. GREAT (I am being sarcastic).
As we are walking out of Forever 21 I see the Ex Fiance about to walk into Forever 21.

My heart dropped to my ass- I don't think there has been a moment in my life where I have been so happy to see someone. I ran to him and gave him a loooooooooong hug and asked him WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE? Then I remembered, I am with another guy. I quickly introduced them, and told the guy sorry but the Ex Fiance had just gotten back from the military (he was in uniform). The other guy was cool about it and went on his way.
The Ex Fiance and I went to Max Brenner and this is when I started to tear up...
He looked so good, I was very proud of him and realized how much in love I still am with him.

I LOVE HIM, yes, my cousin that girl was right in her final post...

I have enjoyed the company of other men but there is no one else I want... through out all he has still remained a good friend of mine, someone I have become very dependant on for support. I want to be his wife one day, I am not interested in getting to know someone else. I found the man I can call my better half. I honestly think the timing for everything before was not right, but if through all we have been through we have managed to maintain good communication and a great friendship...

I've never told anyone but him this but the reason I have dealt with the breaking of my engagement so well is because deep down inside I never really accepted us not being together. I would think about the day he wouldn't talk to me anymore and it would make me cringe, he told me he loved me and I to him every time we spoke. That is what would put me at ease.