Love the Good, Hack the Bad...

Being the TV junkie that I am, I was watching Tough Love on VH1 and one of the girls was being reprimanded for always having something set up before she left the guy.
I've known a few people who are guilty of this. My neighbor is one of them... And honestly, its wrong, BUT being human myself I can understand why. The distraction makes it easier to deal with. I have a few other friends who I know do the same thing.

When El Difunto dumped me I didn't have anything set up. Mainly because he left me and caught me off guard so I couldn't have anything set up. The heartache of that was so bad I have been guilty of having something set up before leaving the Ex Fiance (Fitness) to avoid feeling that again. When I left Fitness I didn't have something else set up so I know its not repetitive behavior.

Can you hack the pain?

I know I can't, not right now. This is how I know...
The Ex Fiance is here for a few days, I am very excited about this. I knew I loved him still, and I'm pretty sure my previous blogs gave it away but seeing him just confirmed it.
I had cancelled plans, and left my days open for him. The day after he got here he had to cancel last min because he was running Army errands. That was cool with me.
He tells me he is sitting down for dinner and will call me once he is done. Two hrs go by, I sent him a text telling him I will be salsa dancing, and I hope he enjoyed his very long meal. He calls me back to tell me he fell asleep after eating. Cool with me.
The next morning he and I are suppose to meet up at 10 am. I call him at 9:30 to see what his status is and he was still sleeping. He tells me he will sleep another half hour and then get ready. 2 hrs go by, he should have been in my house already, so I call him.

He was just hopping out the shower.

This is where I get pissed. He could have called me to tell me he was running late if he was already awake. I have literally put my life on hold for him, haven't gone christmas shopping for my parents, and he is being too laid back about me.

His response: IMWIR. I am laid back in general because for the past 5 months i have been on edge. Being yelled at for everything. And I thought you of all people would understand. I never told you to cancel plans with people. I never told you wait to buy your parents gifts. While i appreciate the fact that you are doing all that for me.
I told him I know he didn't ask me to do all that for him but I did it because I wanted to take advantage of the time he was here. I guess I had put too much of myself out there and he had just put everything into perspective for me. We had no obligations to each other and I already knew he was bothered by what had taken place, we didn't have to hang out that day.
His response was I dont get how you flip flop. I wanna come. I just dnt want drama the 3rd day I am here. I am sorry that you cancelled plans today and yesterday.

He came anyway, we had an okay day. I miss the old him, but am being realistic and accepting that he might not exist anymore. I am so into him though, my heart is invested to the point where I have put a wall up and am only allowing myself to enjoy him a certain amount because I don't feel the same in return.

This is why my answer is NO, I can't hack it.