It Hit Me In Wholefoods

I did it.

I had the talk with the ex fiance.

I had a talk with my mom and she suggested if I wanted to do it, to just do it. She knew in my heart I was never going to find the moment I was looking for because I still loved him.


The next time he called I just did it.


I told him I didn't want to keep strumming him along in something in my heart I didn't think was going to work. Love isn't enough, and we differ in the way we like to spend our time. At the moment it might not seem like a big deal but I like to vacation, and go away on weekends, go try different things, dance. I won't say he doesn't ever try. The few times he does plans never go through. He lives a "wing it" life and is satisfied with being a homebody. In the long run, its going to catch up to us- it already has some what.


The first three years of a relationship are suppose to be the best and with him I have gone through some hardships people married for ten years haven't gone through.


His family gives me anxiety. I can't deal with it. I don't know how to be with a family I don't get along with.

Love isn't enough.

I didn't tell him about Ting. I didn't want him to think Ting was the reason why.


He was upset at first and told me he wasn't going to fight me on this.


That changed two hours later. He said it wasn't fair and he was not going to take this lying down. He loves me and it isn't fair for me to say my peice and walk away. Then he tried to guilt trip me and say the stuff depressed guys say when they loose their woman.


He said he had big things planned for us this week. I had a feeling he was just saying that because of what was going on.


I am okay when he isn't telling me these things. Well, I am better then expected.


I am trying to stick to my guns and follow the advice I give other people.


Then it happened. Yesterday I went to the supermarket. Ting was suppose to come with me but he got stuck at work so I went ahead and he picked me up; The ex fiance and I always had a good time doing our groceries. I was walking down the isles by myself and it hit me. I started to tear.


My handsome ex-fiance, I will miss you but I need to be greedy and do what is right for me.