How Could I Tell Him No?

One time, because of a specific conversation, Scarf asked me if I have the heart to be honest with someone, even though I know it is going to hurt them.

I answered no.

Those of you who read this regularly know about my father...

Him and my mother are no longer together but sleep in the same apartment. My mom in my room and my dad in theirs. I know he feels very alone here, I could never imagine feeling that way in such a busy house hold. I know he is not comfortable in his own home. In most ways he brought that upon himself, but the man is human and I can't help but to feel for him.

It is 1 a.m. on a Friday night and my dad sneaks into the house, making sure he doesn't make noise with the door. To his surprise he finds me sitting on the couch (I was suppose to be away for the weekend but postponed the trip due to what I think is an ear infection). I can tell he has been drinking, he looks happy.

We shoot the shit about why I am not away, he goes back to his room and I go back to my computer. He comes back and asks me if I can check on the Internet for some concert he just heard about on the radio, it is one of his all time favorite artist. He swore when he came to this country 30 years ago that he would see this man perform, and never had the chance to. He doesn't want to let this one pass by.

He kneels next to me and I look online and find the concert. I ask him how much is he willing to spend.
Dad: The best seats available
IMWIR: Alright big baller, the best seat in the house is $170
Dad: That's okay
::I input the information and request for one ticket::
Dad: can you check for two? would you like to come with me? I don't really want to go alone.

I can't even keep a dry eye typing this. My heart was completely broken. I have my reasons to say no. Do I really want to spend three hours with the man who made me feel this, this, and this? NO. But he is my father and is obviously going through something I wish I never put myself through. It is always easy to blame someone else, facing yourself isn't. I refuse to see him in his casket and think "I wish I..."

He is aging already, I see it physically and even in his eyes. I think I would be crying harder if I had said no.

He asks me to go into his room to see a DVD of the artist. He was singing along to every song, smiling and chumming around with me. How could I tell him no?

Dad, despite the fact that I can't agree with the fact that you can't say you are sorry- something in me just doesn't let me tell you no,

Scarves Are STILL Seasonal

Guess who called to apologize for his behavior yesterday...
Oh yes he did.

He said he is sorry for they way he has been acting, he knows it might have been immature "you know" (Pang gets it).

I let him know that he was being immature. I don't know what he is going through so I cannot really judge (his mom is really sick so that might have been stressing him out, plus a few other family problems) but I have not done anything to receive this treatment from somebody twice my age. I wasn't catering to it so I just smiled it off. I accepted his apology and wished him good luck with his family.

The End