I know, I've been M.I.A.
My apologies... not that anyone reads this anyway lol.
A lot has been going on in my life.
The ex fiance and I are officially not together- after months of me wanting out and him thinking we could make it work. It took another person to come into the picture sadly for this to happen.
I love him but right now that relationship I had with him was not right. I am very happy with myself for sticking to my guns and not going back at moments of weakness.
The past two days have been rough. Besides moving out of the apartment he and I had (we moved out alone- my back is killing me from lifting heavy stuff)- he has been having a hard time with what has been going on with us and he has these eyes that break me. I can't look at him when he is hurting without needing to comfort him. DAMN THOSE EYES.
I have been spending time with Fitness and enjoying his company... A LOT.
My friends are my world and without the words of encouragement from my girls (I fucking love my girls- they are the best) I probably would have had an extreme hard time with what has been going on.
Prime example of my girls being the best:
Fitness friends bday at a bar/lounge in LES. He had mentioned his friends wanted to meet me, cool- I'm there. All I need is a partner in crime- I wasn't going alone. Ofcoarse I invited ALL 3 of my girls but two couldn't make. The one who could make it we will call her Mother Theresa. Mother Theresa and I don't have vehicles but this is NYC so we fuck it and train it there. I walk up to the door and the door man let's me know that the party I am looking for has a room in the back. As I step foot in the door I receive a text from Fitness "are you coming?" (I told him I was not going if I didn't find anyone to go with). I put my phone back in my pocket because- well... I was already there.
I walk into the back room and see NOBODY I recognize.
I look at Mother Theresa.
I turn to walk out.
I get pulled back.
I turn around to see who it is. I don't recognize her.
Girl I don't recognize: "::yells my name::"
I smile.
Girl I don't recognize: "Hey, it's me _______ (Fitness friend). Where is Fitness?"
Me: "Oh I don't know, I thought he was here already"
Girl I don't recognize: "Oh we thought he was coming with you. Hey everyone, look ::says my name:: is here!"
Everyone greets me with some excitement. In my head I think "oh crap, am I suppose to know these people?"
One girl confesses that she has been Facebook stalking me, they've all been dying to meet me.
Mother Theresa is in full alert for the sign of help we have. Thanks Mother Theresa.
Fast Forward > > > > >
We are all on the dancefloor. Fitness has already arrived- he thought I wasn't going since I didn't respond so he took his time getting ready. Someone burps up that salami stench. We all make that face, but we are at a lounge, it is to be expected.
His Boys Girl "oh man, and I know that smell must really bother you since you are a vegeterian"
Mother Theresa "IMWIR (in my world I rock), you know her?"
Me: "NOPE"
These people know more about me then I thought, it's flattering that he talks about me enough that they know these details.
Fast Forward > > > > >
All on the dance floor again... Standing in this order.
His Boys Girl, Fitness, Mother Theresa, Me.
His Boys Girl goes to Fitness "I want to talk to IMWIR, do you think she would mind if I ask her to accompany me while I go out for a smoke? I know she doesn't like it"
Mother Theresa is ON IT like a true girl. I love her.
She turns to me: "Yo IMWIR, she wants to talk to you and she is about to ask you to go outside"
Surely... this happened. I wasn't going to say no. Out without a jacket I went (yes, it was cold).
I can't type the conversation word for word... but the point was, they didn't like his ex, she was crazy- I give everyone a good vibe, he really likes me and she hopes that I stick around and she sees more of me. He is a good guy and doesn't deserve to get hurt.
She gave me the talk.
Back inside.
Older Sister is in the area and is giving Mother Theresa a ride home. I stayed behind to hang out with Fitness- I was having fun with him.
Another friend of his- who knows someone I know (this can be good and bad)- we will call her Mutual comes with me to sit down in the back room. I was complaining about my feet and her feet hurt as well, the shit we go through to look cute...
Mutual talks to me about Fitness- all great things (he is every ones favorite friend from their group, she tells her boyfriend sometimes he needs to be like Fitness, his ex took advantage of his kindness, nobody wants to see him get hurt- I seem to make him smile... they were all dying to meet me and are happy that I am normal). Then she mentions a mutual friend her and I have told her I was engaged.
I get that dry throat. I swallow hard.
I don't think it is any of their business yet but my past is my past and it is a part of me. I simply say "Yes I was, and it just didn't work out so we cancelled the wedding". She is satisfied with that answer I guess because she also leaves it at that. Then she asks what is up with Fitness and I, if we are together.
I think to myself "is this a trick question?". How do I answer this? Shouldn't she be asking Fitness this instead? I tell her we are getting to know each other, and smile. Fitness walks in at this point. The conversation ends there.
Despite the unexpected talks- I had a great night, his friends were fun.
As for El Difunto... I haven't heard from him... and I don't mind it. If he calls he calls- if he doesn't he doesn't.
I have a feeling I am going to hear from him on a very random day.
My apologies... not that anyone reads this anyway lol.
A lot has been going on in my life.
The ex fiance and I are officially not together- after months of me wanting out and him thinking we could make it work. It took another person to come into the picture sadly for this to happen.
I love him but right now that relationship I had with him was not right. I am very happy with myself for sticking to my guns and not going back at moments of weakness.
The past two days have been rough. Besides moving out of the apartment he and I had (we moved out alone- my back is killing me from lifting heavy stuff)- he has been having a hard time with what has been going on with us and he has these eyes that break me. I can't look at him when he is hurting without needing to comfort him. DAMN THOSE EYES.
I have been spending time with Fitness and enjoying his company... A LOT.
My friends are my world and without the words of encouragement from my girls (I fucking love my girls- they are the best) I probably would have had an extreme hard time with what has been going on.
Prime example of my girls being the best:
Fitness friends bday at a bar/lounge in LES. He had mentioned his friends wanted to meet me, cool- I'm there. All I need is a partner in crime- I wasn't going alone. Ofcoarse I invited ALL 3 of my girls but two couldn't make. The one who could make it we will call her Mother Theresa. Mother Theresa and I don't have vehicles but this is NYC so we fuck it and train it there. I walk up to the door and the door man let's me know that the party I am looking for has a room in the back. As I step foot in the door I receive a text from Fitness "are you coming?" (I told him I was not going if I didn't find anyone to go with). I put my phone back in my pocket because- well... I was already there.
I walk into the back room and see NOBODY I recognize.
I look at Mother Theresa.
I turn to walk out.
I get pulled back.
I turn around to see who it is. I don't recognize her.
Girl I don't recognize: "::yells my name::"
I smile.
Girl I don't recognize: "Hey, it's me _______ (Fitness friend). Where is Fitness?"
Me: "Oh I don't know, I thought he was here already"
Girl I don't recognize: "Oh we thought he was coming with you. Hey everyone, look ::says my name:: is here!"
Everyone greets me with some excitement. In my head I think "oh crap, am I suppose to know these people?"
One girl confesses that she has been Facebook stalking me, they've all been dying to meet me.
Mother Theresa is in full alert for the sign of help we have. Thanks Mother Theresa.
Fast Forward > > > > >
We are all on the dancefloor. Fitness has already arrived- he thought I wasn't going since I didn't respond so he took his time getting ready. Someone burps up that salami stench. We all make that face, but we are at a lounge, it is to be expected.
His Boys Girl "oh man, and I know that smell must really bother you since you are a vegeterian"
Mother Theresa "IMWIR (in my world I rock), you know her?"
Me: "NOPE"
These people know more about me then I thought, it's flattering that he talks about me enough that they know these details.
Fast Forward > > > > >
All on the dance floor again... Standing in this order.
His Boys Girl, Fitness, Mother Theresa, Me.
His Boys Girl goes to Fitness "I want to talk to IMWIR, do you think she would mind if I ask her to accompany me while I go out for a smoke? I know she doesn't like it"
Mother Theresa is ON IT like a true girl. I love her.
She turns to me: "Yo IMWIR, she wants to talk to you and she is about to ask you to go outside"
Surely... this happened. I wasn't going to say no. Out without a jacket I went (yes, it was cold).
I can't type the conversation word for word... but the point was, they didn't like his ex, she was crazy- I give everyone a good vibe, he really likes me and she hopes that I stick around and she sees more of me. He is a good guy and doesn't deserve to get hurt.
She gave me the talk.
Back inside.
Older Sister is in the area and is giving Mother Theresa a ride home. I stayed behind to hang out with Fitness- I was having fun with him.
Another friend of his- who knows someone I know (this can be good and bad)- we will call her Mutual comes with me to sit down in the back room. I was complaining about my feet and her feet hurt as well, the shit we go through to look cute...
Mutual talks to me about Fitness- all great things (he is every ones favorite friend from their group, she tells her boyfriend sometimes he needs to be like Fitness, his ex took advantage of his kindness, nobody wants to see him get hurt- I seem to make him smile... they were all dying to meet me and are happy that I am normal). Then she mentions a mutual friend her and I have told her I was engaged.
I get that dry throat. I swallow hard.
I don't think it is any of their business yet but my past is my past and it is a part of me. I simply say "Yes I was, and it just didn't work out so we cancelled the wedding". She is satisfied with that answer I guess because she also leaves it at that. Then she asks what is up with Fitness and I, if we are together.
I think to myself "is this a trick question?". How do I answer this? Shouldn't she be asking Fitness this instead? I tell her we are getting to know each other, and smile. Fitness walks in at this point. The conversation ends there.
Despite the unexpected talks- I had a great night, his friends were fun.
As for El Difunto... I haven't heard from him... and I don't mind it. If he calls he calls- if he doesn't he doesn't.
I have a feeling I am going to hear from him on a very random day.
![](http://<a href="http://www.20SB.net/profile/YOURPROFILE '><img src="http://api.ning.com/files/G4pCztZsSY9bLt-kDupAv-8S1LK6vIz*9xuYLXH4Tk*LdzRMLr*Yw33c5VjwSS0VCuYOK9c1JmfZzGoVijVWpqmthv9GaFLt/20sb_member.png" alt="" /></a>)