Ting and I went to Philadelphia for the Philly Salsa Jam. We spent the weekend at his friends house and I, ladies and gentlemen... had an experience.
I arrived before Ting did, I have a cousin in Philly and wanted to spend some time with him and see his apartment. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I left with Ting because we had an action packed weekend, so I opted to leave a little earlier and have Ting pick me up when he arrived at night.
I arrived, walked the city with my cousin, went to his place- and I got HOMESICK! WTF I had only been there for six hours and I was homesick. It usually happens if I am not being kept occupied, which was the case (my cousin is a very mellow dude, and his live in girlfriend is even more). Ting arrives and I had never been happier to see him. My homesickness had gone away.
Weird.
Moving on.
We went out to party that night. The next day we went to tour the city on the Ride the Duck tour, had lunch with his friends, saw the liberty bell, went out to dinner, went salsa dancing, and the next morning he surprised me with a trip to the aquarium! (He had remembered in conversation that I love the aquarium and anytime I am in a new city I try to visit their aquarium).
He was amazing.
And then it happened.
He asked me to be his girlfriend.
Sounds great, especially since I like the guy and I said YES... right?
I wouldn't ask the question if the answer wasn't no. So NO. What's the problem you ask? THE EX FIANCE.
He told me once, while arguing about something that had nothing to do with this (I had asked him "what were you thinking with?") "I was thinking with my heart, if I thought with my head In My World I ROCK I wouldn't have asked you to marry me".
It hurt like all hell to hear that, funny enough now I am having to think with this mentality.
It is no secret that the ex fiance is something I have been battling with for a few weeks.
My heart loves him but my head is almost positive that there are so many things that are missing. Love is powerful, but it is not enough to make a successful relationship work.
I don't plan on telling him that I am seeing someone else, but I need to break the news to him that I need to stop thinking we will work. Or stop seeing Ting.
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4 comments:
OMG so clear something up for me... so do you or don't you officially have a bf right now?
LoL I'm wit Grace...R u officially off the singles list???!!!
(glad u had such a great weekend)
yep, im trying to catch up here. but dont quite get if you said yes or said no. But a relationship is serious. dont get in it if you have baggage (missing the ex)..heal first. Believe me its for the best and only fair for the new guy.
I totally agree Journey. Ting and I enjoy ourselves and are enjoying the moment.
I am fine when the ex fiance isn't throwing shit my way. I am going to miss him twenty years from now, it is just the way that I am. I sometimes miss El Difunto. It is a different kind of miss.
It's a lot of accepting that needs to be done on both our parts... more his then mine- I accepted and took action. I know healing is a long process, but the ex fiance and I had broken off our engagement over a year ago. It's time for me to let go.
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