Someone Elses Turn

Oh lord, what an eventful weekend.
Ting and I went to Philadelphia for the Philly Salsa Jam. We spent the weekend at his friends house and I, ladies and gentlemen... had an experience.
I arrived before Ting did, I have a cousin in Philly and wanted to spend some time with him and see his apartment. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I left with Ting because we had an action packed weekend, so I opted to leave a little earlier and have Ting pick me up when he arrived at night.

I arrived, walked the city with my cousin, went to his place- and I got HOMESICK! WTF I had only been there for six hours and I was homesick. It usually happens if I am not being kept occupied, which was the case (my cousin is a very mellow dude, and his live in girlfriend is even more). Ting arrives and I had never been happier to see him. My homesickness had gone away.

Weird.

Moving on.

We went out to party that night. The next day we went to tour the city on the Ride the Duck tour, had lunch with his friends, saw the liberty bell, went out to dinner, went salsa dancing, and the next morning he surprised me with a trip to the aquarium! (He had remembered in conversation that I love the aquarium and anytime I am in a new city I try to visit their aquarium).

He was amazing.
And then it happened.

He asked me to be his girlfriend.

Sounds great, especially since I like the guy and I said YES... right?

I wouldn't ask the question if the answer wasn't no. So NO. What's the problem you ask? THE EX FIANCE.

He told me once, while arguing about something that had nothing to do with this (I had asked him "what were you thinking with?")  "I was thinking with my heart, if I thought with my head In My World I ROCK I wouldn't have asked you to marry me".
It hurt like all hell to hear that, funny enough now I am having to think with this mentality.

It is no secret that the ex fiance is something I have been battling with for a few weeks.

My heart loves him but my head is almost positive that there are so many things that are missing. Love is powerful, but it is not enough to make a successful relationship work.
I don't plan on telling him that I am seeing someone else, but I need to break the news to him that I need to stop thinking we will work. Or stop seeing Ting.

Rest Your Head, Dry Your Eyes, Baby You'll Be Alright- Ryan Donn

I have so many things happen that I think are funny enough to blog about and I just don't muster the energy to log on and write. I don't like to write when I am not happy... and obviously, right now I am not too happy.

Again, I hate the fact that all my recent post have become heavy to some degree and are about love and those in it.

Ting- I don't want to like him but I do. I enjoy him a lot. He isn't even my type physically. He is chubby but we have good talks, we laugh, we dance, we have sex- I get my rocks off and he doesn't. That's a whole other post within itself. He told me it has happened with almost every girl he has been with so I don't take too much offense to it. I told him he should go get his rocks off with someone who could keep up with him.
He took offense to this.
I enjoy when he kisses my hand.
I enjoy the way he caresses me when we lay together.
I love the fact that he can't stop kissing me. He wants to kiss all the time.
I catch him starring at me every once in a while. It reminds me of when Fitness used to do that. Remember him?

He is a little sensitive to certain issues, just like any other person that is falling in like with someone. He is a great communicator and likes to talk shit out right then and there. I have been so emotionally out of it that I don't really have the energy to make strong statements. I say what I have to say and keep it moving.


Ex Fiance- I am at a loss with what to do with him. There is no denying that I love him. I love him. I am going to be completely honest with myself. I don't think it will work out because the effort in him is different. He still comes to see me, and we speak EVERY DAY. But we don't go out on dates. He comes over right after work to see me for two hours before he has to run home to let the dogs out.

I can't bash him completely. He does ask me for time but I'm usually at salsa class the days he wants to go out. Salsa is the only thing keeping me sane right now, but I guess I need to skip a few classes if I want to give things with him a fair shot?

He plans on making a career of the military. Me, an army wife?

I refuse to give up until I can say I truly tried this time around. He isn't doing anything wrong, he just hasn't done anything to sweep me off my feet. I am used to him sweeping me off my feet. I think he is at a point where he is trying to settle himself. It is only fair I give him his time to do that. When I needed my time he gave it to me. I ended up dating Fitness, but he gave it to me none the less.

I'm not ready to walk away from him just yet.

Something is not letting me. Not yet.

I still remember the day I met him :)

On a Different Page ... and Photo Shopped

Some one please sign me up for Tool Academy.

I try not to blog about the ex fiance- but in a nut shell....

• I still love him very much.
• We see each other about once a week.
• We haven't had sex, he hasn't tried.
• We are "doing things right" according to him and taking things slow.

He has a point, and I was the one who introduced the idea of taking things slow- but I feel we are going very slow... and that's cool, but I have self diagnosed myself with a mild form of ADD and slow things bore me.

He knows, I've been honest with my feelings about this. I refuse to nag though, I nagged when he first got here and it didn't work in my favor so I let him be... I love him but I can't fight him anymore. Time will tell.

In turn, someone else has been keeping me busy. He is a dancer... his blog name will be Ting.

Of coarse, just like almost anyone I start hanging out with, Ting was something casual. Then it became sexual. Now he is feeling this. He throws comments out there that make it obvious that he wants this to go somewhere. He knows some details about the ex fiance but I have opted to try and not talk about it.

Two men, I always get caught up in some shit like this. I am enjoying Ting a little more then I care to (no, don't worry... I am not sprung lol).

On a lighter note... I have been asked to join a bachata recital team, and will join a salsa one next month so you might be hearing a lot less from me since all I will be doing in dancing.

Oh, enter the perfect opportunity for AN EXAMPLE. Speaking of dancing, here is something Ting would say:

IMWIR: I have a feeling dancing will get in the way of my next relationship.

Ting: Why

IMWIR: I am enjoying it a lot, and don't think I will stop until I am satisfied with where I am with it. I have already chosen dancing over many things (I did not mention I have chosen going to salsa class over hanging out with the ex fiance... I kept it as broad as possible).

Ting: Well, maybe you will meet a guy who can share the passion of dancing with you (and then he gives me the stare with the smile... FYI: he is a performer).

Now for what I really wanted to blog...

I'VE BEEN PHOTO SHOPPED!

I got called in for a photo shoot earlier this week... I took a few pics in some dresses and final shots were taken in a bikini.

While I was getting dressed the photographer played around with some of the pictures and calls me over to show me one.

Its one of me in the bikini.

IMWIR: WOW! This looks great!

Photographer: Yeah, I worked on it a little, look at the original ::opens up the original picture::

This is where I almost passed out.

I have never in my adult life been self conscious about my body, until I saw the before and after pictures.

I HAVE BEEN PHOTO SHOPPED, it was my first time seeing this and I hate it. Now, I know people get photo shopped for magazines, I don't think all those models really look like that but sweet jeezus- it's different when you look at yourself.

I swore off food, and then I got hungry two hours later- that plan went out the window quick.

Second Date: Keep it Proper

I've been a little M.I.A.

Sorry blog followers.

Last I said- the guy (we need to give him a blog name, suggestions please) wanted to hang out again. What I had failed to mention was that he had asked me if I wanted to go over to his place and he make me dinner.

Obviously we all know what that means. Then I thought about it, not only is this the second time I would be seeing this guy but he knows my way too proper dad's side of the family. This was not going to be a good look.

Luckily he brought it up before I had a chance to, he said maybe later on... but for this weekend he would come into the city and hang out. Maybe go to a comedy club or something. Cool, I am down with that.

I almost felt guilty about hanging out with him, you know, because of the ex fiance. I love the ex fiance, a lot. He really is my best friend but the guy needs to step his game up. When you are in a relationship you have to accept all that comes with that person. The ex fiance is not aggressive, in all this time he has not tried to sleep with me. EXACTLY. He has been here since December and not once has he tried. I am pretty sure we all have our opinions about this one...

I know that being with him I will never have a surprise vacation- or a vacation period, the guy is the worst at planning ANYTHING. Even a date (well a complicated one, he can plan buying movie tickets... we did go to the sex museum once, but it was a wing it date). Just not his thing. I guess I am okay with being the one to plan everything. That doesn't really bother me that much.

Technically speaking, I am single. I will date freely until that status changes.

Next topic.

I saw the movie UP last night.

WHAT THE FUCK... That movie made me want to cut my veins within the first 15 minutes. Shit that movie was sad (but those characters were funny). I think that is the first Disney movie where they displayed blood like that. Was this movie really meant for kids to watch?

Where the Heart Is... Doesn't Exist. So I Relaxed.

Before you read: The Ex Fiance and I call each other boo... it's an inside joke.
The Ex Fiance has been back for a few days... I would say it's been a roller coaster of emotions, but it really hasn't. I have felt the same since the day he arrived AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM. I see him and I think to myself I had him.

I'll copy and paste a draft of a post, an email I sent him, and a text conversation I held with him.

The draft of the post:
Its Christmas and I just realized I'm in love with someone who no longer exist.

The Ex Fiance I love is no longer there. I can't expect him to go through a life changing experience like join the army and expect him to come back the same. Re-reading that last sentence... That's where I failed, I expected.
He is still himself in many aspects, but he isn't the same with me.

I don't get the cute morning text or phone call. He is okay with canceling plans because of his family almost every time we've had plans. (This I can understand, I'm not asking for all of his time. I just would like for him to give me some sort of importance and tell them "I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with you, I would like to see IMWIR in the evening").

His tolerance to things I say is not the same.

Sometimes it's good to write things down. As I read this I am stricken with more realization.

I've tried to bring up things but like I just mentioned- his tolerance is not the same.

I am in love with a person that is no more.

I need to accept it and let it go. Get to learn the new him...

The e-mail I sent him:
Hey Ex Fiance.
Sorry for the email... Its almost 2:30 am and I haven't really heard from you. Being that you've fallen asleep early all the days prior I'm going to assume you are sleeping and will not call.
I know I'm suppose to see you later today but- some things don't change. I need to get this out before I go to bed.
I love you very VERY much. So much so that the thought of us not ending up together in the future is something I never dealt with. I've done this to myself by setting expectations but the Ex Fiance that I love isn't there anymore. You are new and improved, and although it might not benefit me- it does benefit you. You are a better person and much more comfortable within yourself, that makes me happy for you.
That doesn't change the fact that you aren't the boy I fell in love with last year (perhaps now you are a man)... I loved the attention I got from you, the daily morning text, the daily good night calls, the way that I came first, your tolerance for me is not the same.
This isn't a break up email or an email telling you I don't want to be with you ever (I can't break up if we aren't together lol). However, I did tell you that I want to marry you and its not fair for me to say that. I cannot marry someone I don't know. I do want to get to know the new you though. I love you Ex Fiance and accepting this is not an easy thing for me.
<3
IMWIR

His response to this was that I need to relax, he is having a hard time adjusting to the civilian world (I don't want to know what he will be like if he ever does go to war... adjusting to coming back is going to be horrible for him). He wants to do things right this time with me.

I can understand, and so, I relaxed.

A text conversation went like this: (FYI: I was hanging out with another guy... )
Me: Ill be getting home late. Talk to you tomorrow maybe.
::EX FIANCE calls me but I don't pick up because I was busy::
Ex Fiance: Ahhhh man. I was giving u chill space. I know how you used to be when u were with friends. My heart is racing now because of that "maybe" word. I don't know anything anymore except u... =(
Me: I love you boo and I want YOU but I need to look out for myself- going through the last couple of days has been rough
Ex Fiance: I working things out boo...i am doing my best. I feel like ur moving further w/ each passing second
Me: I won't lie, I am. Doesn't mean I love u any less, but it isn't the sane- you've changed towards me and I won't fight it
Ex Fiance: Stop saying that. Stop. You need to give me more than one week to get adjusted. It doesn't happen right away. Please. Now i am back to begging you.
Me:Its hard, I know you need to do you that's why I've left you alone.
Ex Fiance: but I didn't ask you to leave me alone.
Me: you don't have to ask me to do it...
Ex Fiance: I know but pls don't leave me alone :(
Me: When I was on u told me I need to relax. I leave you alone u don't want that either.

Today my dating situation came up...
In a nutshell, I told him he is the one I love but maybe the timing isn't right, he isn't ready to have me in his life. I can't force him to be ready so I will continue dating. He is my #1 and whenever he decides to come around, if ever, he'll know where to reach me and hopefully I"ll be available.

He called me and explained he didn't want me dating anyone else, he is working on making US better. It might be taking a little longer, and time is working against us but to please work with him.

He also knows I've been talking to one of my closest friend the break dancer and has asked me to speak to him instead, he doesn't want me to stop turning to him when I need to talk.
I told him I still turn to him for a lot but there are certain things he does NOT need, me being emo about whats going on is one of those things. I tried talking to him about how I feel re: this situation and I was told I need to relax.

I have been working with him and I will continue as long as he keeps showing me he is working for us.

This is probably the last post about this situation, I prefer to keep it private.

It's 4:30. No, really... It is.

I Have to start off by saying LET'S GO YANKEES! Congrats on the 2009 World Series Win

Moving on...

Things IMWIR strongly dislikes:

• Soggy Cereal
• Wet Clothes
• The train during rush hour
• Waking up to an alarm clock
• Being rushed

I had plans to meet Scarf at 3 p.m. There was no hot water (I should have added cold showers to the list of dislikes) at home so he pushed plans back to 3:30 to give me time to find a solution to this very big problem.
We finally get hot water and I'm getting ready when I get a phone call at 2:24 p.m... Its Scarf.

Scarf: Heeeey, what are you doing?

IMWIR: We just got hot water so I just hopped out the shower.

Scarf: Oh, well... IM HERE!

::silence::

IMWIR: ummm okay cool- you're early, I need a few minutes to get ready.

Scarf: Ok. How much time do you need?

(This is where I start to get bothered, you said 3:30 and are pressuring me for time when you are AN HOUR early. As I said before, I strongly dislike being rushed).

IMWIR: Another 20 minutes.

Scarf: I'll be getting coffee, see you in 20.

I get another call at 2:52

Its Scarf.

Scarf: Hey...

IMWIR: Yessss....

Scarf: what's up? What's your status?

IMWIR: (a little dry) I'll be out in 10 minutes.
This is so unlike him, he is such a chill dude, why is he being so damn persistent when he is super early and he was the one who offered to push the time back an extra half hour?

I don't know where we are going or what we are doing. We drive to Columbus Circle, put the car in the garage and walk towards Central Park.

All the horse and carriages are on the side and I comment on how I would love to own a horse and although the rides are nice, I hate to see them so restricted and tied up.

Scarf: oh, well... Surprise! We are going for a horse and carriage ride around central park. They are closing the stables soon so these are their last weeks.

Talk about putting my foot in my mouth!! It was a good ride, very romantic.

On our walk back he asks me for the time.

IMWIR: It's 4:30

Scarf: No it isn't.

I scramble in my purse for my phone. I check the time on that.

IMWIR: yes it is.

Scarf: that's impossible. It can't be.

I start to think maybe we are running late for something...

Scarf: I picked you up at 4:30... That's why I was rushing you, I wanted to do this before the sun went down.

IMWIR: no, u were in the heights at 2:30 and we left a little after 3.
This entire time he went by the time in his car and was an hour early. Damn this day light savings.

After, we went to Hummus in Hells Kitchen- and I must say the food was impressive. To end off the night he met up with me after dance school to dance a few salsa songs and off we went to meet up with my older sister Pang to watch the World Series.
Needless to say, to end a perfect date- the YANKS won the World Series.

IN NEW YORK THEY SMOKE PHILLIES.

Earlier today Scarf and I were emailing back and forth- he sent me some of the pics from yesterday's date. I responded thanking him again, and here goes his response:

That was cool and what I considered, "simple romance." In short, planning days like that is a reflection of how I feel about you. I want effortless, unique and fun experiences with you. There is nothing like seeing a smile on your face. :)

Italian Dinner and Red Wine

Scarf is 1/4 Cuban and 3/4 Italian.

He had told me one day, in casual conversation, that he was having sauteed spinach for dinner.
He asked if he could make it for me one day.

I accepted.

I make my way to NJ where he lives with a bottle of the red wine he likes in hand.

I get to his apt, which is small (a studio) but beautiful. Very artsy, brick wall, high ceiling... the whole nine.

He gives me the grand tour, admits that his place doesn't usually look that clean, he only dusted and picked up because I was going over... He showed me some of his work, we popped open the bottle of wine and he started cooking while I doodled in his drawing pad.

On the menu:

• Some sort of Italian bread with olive oil and Parmesan cheese.
• An assortment of olives and mozzarella cheese.
• Sauteed spinach
• Asparagus
• Italian mashed potatoes
• Red Wine.

He thanked me endlessly for bringing the wine- he said no one has brought him wine in a WHILE. Shit, if this is all it took to impress him lol.

He set the table very nicely, I wanted to take a picture but my phone was in my purse and I didn't want to disturb the flow.

We had good talk during dinner, so much so- time flew by and we didn't get to watch the movie he rented.

He introduced the game of PENTE.

We played a few rounds of this game (it's funner then it sounds, I swear)... and got ready to go (I had a previous engagement).

On our way out he decides he needs to use the restroom so I sit on the stairs. On his way out he sat on a chair and we spent another hour talking, him on the chair and me on the stairs.

You could tell he is attracted but doesn't know how to go about making a move.

He drove me home in his new Audi S line... which he bought for his 40th birthday as a gift to himself.

Yes, you read right... 40.

The man is 40 years old but looks 28.

When he told me he was nervous... but understood that we had no obligations and it could be an issue.

THAT GIRL was in town for my cousins wedding. She had met Scarf the day she arrived at a Salsa club. Good times. He is in the people business so he knows how to get along with people. Shots of Patron going around all night, good times... Until she saw him talking too much to this other woman lol... Her face was priceless. Again, he is in the events business so he has to be social. There was nothing behind it, and if there was... OH WELL. Shit happens.

I had no way of getting to this wedding, it was in NJ. Scarf had offered to drive me and pick me up... I was suppose to be going with my dad but plans changed- my dad wasn't coming anymore, so I told Scarf to put on his suit- he was going to be my date. He gladly accepted.

I loved it, I didn't have to babysit him and the man made me look WONDERFUL on the dance floor :-D. We had people at our table asking us how many YEARS have we been dancing together... I've been dancing for two month and only look good when my leader dances well... Being the gentleman he is the entire time he would answer back "we haven't been dancing together that long but it's all her, she makes me look good on the dance floor- I wouldn't dance as well if I didn't have a good partner".

At the table he confessed that he doesn't know how to go about this situation, he likes me and is scared because it is risky. He doesn't know if I am at a point in my life where I want to be with someone. He enjoys me so much he doesn't care if this becomes nothing more then a friendship. Or else I think this is what he said, I don't know. I was drunk and trying really hard to not spill any oil from my food on my dress.

He was an excellent date. He danced with everybody, was very social, and took pictures of everything for me- I wasn't on camera duty. He would even take pictures of me dancing while HE was dancing with me lol.

We then went to a salsa club after, we brought That Girl with us. I danced every song while I was there... 3 of them with Scarf lol. When we walked out he finally did it. He built the courage to do it.

He kissed me.

I can't tell you if it was good or not- I was drinking alot- not enough to not remember this happening but enough to not remember the details. I don't remember it being horrible- if it was I think I would have remembered that.

Apparently he has been telling That Girl wonderful things about me. She approves of him.

Too bad the ex-fiance is still in my <3.

Rain Against the Windshield & Soft Hands on My Feet

Before I even begin the real blog...

I've been having these dreams with babies. Usually my baby. Is this my maternal clock ticking? I'm only 25!!

Moving on.

When I was in college I met this guy who every time I would pass by him he would call me Twinkle because of my eyes (introduce Twinkle). Cheesy I know. We didn't know each others name for a while, I would just call him Twinkle back.

We would chit chat in the hallway every so often. We ended up having a class together and ended up exchanging info through there, originally for school purposes.

When the semester was over he asked me out on a date. We went out, he was a gentleman but nothing was really there for me.

I learned it was a different story for him.

Looking through my phone book I was erasing numbers of people I didn't really talk to (I was bored). I saw his name and wondered how he was. We hadn't spoken in about 3 years. He was pleasantly surprised to hear from me, he is now an NYPD officer- loves his job, and is still in the military (now reserves) and has a tour in Iraq in 2010. He asked me if we could hang out...

I wouldn't be writing this blog if I didn't agree.

I get dressed thinking this is a casual meeting. He comes to pick me up in jeans, a button down, a blazer, and shoes. This has NEVER happened to me. I complimented him and asked him for 5 more minutes for me to slip into something a little more formal.

I take the huge flower arrangement he has in his hands for me (note: I've been seeing Fitness since January and have yet to receive flowers- and he knows I like them). He then hands me a Entenmanns pound cake and tells me "that's for your mother"... LMFAO. Yes, I laughed in his face but he laughed too, obviously he did it to be funny. We have pound cake in my house if anyone is craving some. Thanks Twinkle.

It is raining out so his original plans went to shit. We are sitting in his car, he knows I'm not big on drinking but asks me if I want to go to a wine bar to kill some time until dinner time arrives. As I've gotten older, I need to do what adults do if I want to find myself a MAN. We are out to the wine bar.

I don't know shit about wine and I do not have a true appreciation for it. I don't enjoy it, but I know I can tolerate dessert wine. He orders a glass of the same wine for us both, and we start drinking. We had two glasses each, needless to say- I was a little "happy".

We stop by a radio shack to pick up a cord to connect the ipod to his car so that we can listen to the kind of music I like.

Point Gainers:

1. Flowers check
   
2. Pound cake for mom check
3. Ordering the kind of wine I drink check
4. Opening doors check
5. My music check check check (I mean I would have been fine without it, it wasn't like we were on a road trip)
   

He reads erotic literature and has a lot of insight in what to do right to make a woman happy. I read a passage from one of those things he reads online and I swear it should be a MUST read for all men with no clue.

We get to 79th and Park and he asks me if I mind if we stop by this building he used to work in as a door man when he was younger. I don't mind, we go in and he starts talking to the workers in the most correct Spanish. Very Argentinian (he is Puerto Rican). They all compliment the pretty lady he is with (that would be me :-D ). We make our way further into the building and stop by an elevator to say hello to the operator. I notice its a manual elevator, where the operator has to close the door himself. They notice I keep looking at the elevator and they let me operate it!

Hello, my name is In My World I Rock and I am your elevator operator.

Add that to my resume. Able to operate an elevator built in 1929.

We get to the restaurant and have to wait 15 minutes for our table. While we wait I compliment him on his choice of restaurant- the dim lighting made it very romantic. We start reading an article on the wall that was in the newspaper about the restaurant and its a VEGETARIAN restaurant.

Holy shit he remembered from 3 years ago! Add that to the cool points.
Candle 79 on 79th street in Manhattan for any vegetarians looking for a nice restaurant.

After a huge meal (apps, salads, entrees, wine, and dessert which I hardly ate) we are off to do some dancing. Man does he know me. Flowers, Vegetarian food, and dancing. YES!

We danced for about an hour and then headed off to a bar to meet up with my little sister.

He has a foot fetish and thinks I have nice feet. We were in his car after the bar, he started to rub my feet. The sound of the rain against his windshield and the soft hands on my feet put me in a very tranquil place...

Then he sucked my toes.

You make of that what you want. I can't knock a guy, some guy like breasts, others like legs, he likes toes.

It made for a good date. I had a good time, but that's as far as this is going.

A-salted

Fitness went out to lunch with his female high school friend (HSF for High School Friend)...Originally we were suppose to meet up right after.

They met up at noon... I woke up early to make sure I was PREPARED:

• legs, arm pits, vag shaved a



• hair washed and a



• Mani and Pedi from yesterday a



• Cute new undies a

It is now 3 o clock and absolutely NO WORD from Fitness. I mean they met up at noon for lunch... So I sent this text:

Before I start to assume, I hope everything is alright and you aren't in some sort of situation.Now on with the assuming. I guess I should have warned you that I require SOME attention. If you tell me that you want to hang out today in the day time after your lunch with HSF (at noon)... I am expecting and planning for us to hang out in the day time after your lunch with HSF. If something came up, its cool- but I expect at least a text telling me our plans have changed, any form of notification would have done.Obviously, I am a little bothered and I'm not going to sit at home waiting to see if you call- so I am letting you know that I am cancelling tonight's plans... I don't like to hang out upset.I guess we can touch base through out the weekend to see what's up for Sunday.

He calls back immediately. In my head I'm thinking- it takes a pissed off text for a girl to get a little attention :( then men wonder why women are drama queens.

He tells me that since we spoke about going to a bar at 7 p.m. that he thought we were just going to meet there at that time. We never actually spoke about the plan change so he admits he was at fault and apologizes. He says that it is a little harsh of me to not want to see him until Sunday, but he understands my frustration.

I agree and we plan on still meeting in the bar at 7 (I can admit I was being a little stubborn... I still wanted to see him, I missed him). I ask him how his lunch date with HSF went. He tells me it was good, that he misses her and they spoke a lot about stuff she's been missing out on since she's been "so busy".

One story he told her was about this crazy co worker he dated. He was in a relationship for two years and a half that ended about a year ago. He started seeing this girl about a month after the break up and made it clear that he did not want something serious because he just got out of something serious...Crazy Co-Wo was okay with this, she understood. He said he really liked her and was seeing her for about a month when she kept talking him into having sex with her and he didn't want to- he wasn't ready for that BUT they would sleep over each others house and when things would get hot and heavy he would stop. (Of coarse the girl got pissed!) He said he would feel bad because she would think he didn't like her and he did but he just wasn't ready. (He sounds like the chick doesn't he?)...

They now have been seeing each other for two months I think (but not exclusively) and finally, he let's it happen. Hallelujah for the girl- THEY HAD SEX.Now she begins to change a bit... She asks him if he plans on seeing other girls. He says yes, they spoke about this before and she said she was okay with it. Crazy Co-Wo says NOT ANYMORE and well... Long story short she becomes a little bitter about it. It sucks because they work together... You know what is even crazier? He is telling me she is crazy and I CAN KINDA FEEL THE GIRLS PAIN :x.

He tells me in a discussion they were having at a lounge she threw salt on his pants. She Assaulted him hehe, get it?

She threw salt...

A salted, assaulted?

NO? Ok.

He tells me how he is now beginning to ignore her calls and what not.

And I sit here and think... Fitness has been nothing but good to me BUT that could be me one day! I explained to him that I can see where the girl was coming from... She was okay with him seeing other people when they began, but as she got to know him she fell for him...

... So did I...

He says that they had several discussions when they began about him seeing other people and she agreed, it was a mutual understanding. He and I felt the same for each other and I never agreed with him seeing other girls. He says sex changes everything and that's what happened with her.

That's why I have sex right away- get that shit over with.

Ok I'm kidding, sort of :x

Some people don't know how to handle casual sex?

Random side note: I'm listening to my ipod on the train, this shit went from Juan Luis Guerra "San Pedro de Macoris" to Luke's "I wanna Rock"... Lol shit is fucking with my head.

Anyways- I just got home from spending the night with Fitness and ladies and gents- I can't get enough of him :-x

I know people might think it is too soon but we've been seeing each other for 4 months now- exclusively less then a week lol. He tossed the L word out there and at the rate we are going... don't be surprised if I say it too in the near future.

My boyfriend is the shit.

To be or not to be...

Fitness and I have been spending a lot of time together, and in constant contact.

This past weekend I slept over his house after a night out celebrating his best friends sisters birthday. These people are bar people. Good times but I need some music in my life.

Back to the point.

We get to his room.

Lay down on the bed (clothes still on).

I start to rub his head, he just got a fresh cut.

He falls asleep. (Understandable, the guy works a lot, and hardly sleeps during the week and had a few drinks).

I decide to get up, put on my PJs... Brush my teeth... And go to bed.

Problem is:

1. 
   
   he is laying on the sheets


2. 
   
   he is out cold


3. 
   
   his room is freezing


4. 
   
   I have a cold. I tried waking him up- it didn't work.

I tried to push him over, the guy is pure muscle OUT COLD...I decide to put on one of his hoodies and try to knock out. At this point I've been shivering for an hour and a half, I need to do something. I try to wake him up once more. No luck. I text OS She recommends throwing cold water in his face, I opt to leave him a message and leave.

I leave...

I realize, its 5:30 a.m. and I have no idea where the damn train is.I give him a call... He doesn't pick up.FUCK.I stop a cab to ask and he tries to get me to take it from Brooklyn to Manhattan, long ride- I opt out and give Fitness another call.

HE PICKS UP! Confused as all hell he asks me to please come back. We must have just missed each other because when I arrived to the front of his house he was where I told him I was when I called the second time. I see him walking to the front of the house towards me with an extra sweater in hand for me. That made me smile... Too bad I already had one of his sweaters on (hehe). :x We get inside and he asks for a moment and goes to the bathroom. I originally think he is going to throw up BUT hear nothing (that ability to hear a pin drop kicks in). He walks out and comes onto the bed next to me. He looks off. I ask him what's up, and he almost started to cry (got to love the alcohol).

He felt horrible for what just happened. He felt he was being a horrible host. Apparently he is suppose to protect me and keep me warm and he let his sloppiness get in the way of that.

Here I am thinking he might have gotten bothered because I got up and left in the middle of the night... Instead the man looks like he is close to tears because his sloppy drunkenness was the cause of me leaving.

I told him it was a little messed up but given the circumstances (how little he sleeps and he was drinking) that I can understand, it will happen to anyone.

Then we had great sex.

I worry I was a little too loud and the roomie might have heard me :x. (He wants to move into his own place soon, turning 27 with two roommates isn't working for him).

I'm writing this on the train and there are Mexicans performing with an accordion and a guitar, reminds me of Nacho Libre and I can't concentrate lol.

When Dominicans play the accordion- they make it sound good is all I have to say.

Ok they stopped.

So the next day I was asked on a dinner date (by someone else). I thought about it... Fitness keeps telling me that he wants to be with me but worries that I might need time since I just moved out of the ex fiances apartment. He says this EVERY TIME something about us comes up so maybe I need to take a hint, since once he said maybe I need time to do what single people do.

I accept the dinner date.

I battle if I should tell Fitness or not. We have a very friendly relationship and I didn't want to lie... I've had enough of that these past few months.

I text him.

He calls back.

He doesn't understand why I would go on a dinner date after the conversation we had the day before (we aren't really interested in seeing other people). I explained to him the whole thing about how he always brings up me needing time...

He said he was just putting me first, and didn't want to be an additional burden if I felt I had stuff I needed to get over. He and I have had conversations about how I feel regarding my break up with the ex fiance.

Fitness: are you serious about not wanting to see other people?

IMWIR: I am serious. I enjoy you a lot.

Fitness: I don't want the fact that you were going on a dinner date to be the basis of this. I have been wanting to be in a formal relationship with you but haven't asked because I didn't know if you were ready but will you be my girlfriend?

IMWIR: ::laugh:: where do I circle yes?