I Peed On The Stick

I've been a little unfair with my lack of details with certain things. Let me rewind to last posts pregnancy.

I had been having pre menstrual cramps like usual, so i didn't think anything was up. Until a few days later I had noticed my sleep was ALL OFF. I was having weird dreams and just a hard time sleeping period. I NEVER have had this problem. My body was fatigued (I thought it was because of the sleep). I was taking naps during the day because I just couldn't stay awake.

Then I thought I am still having these cramps but where the fuck is my period?
Mothers day was around the corner, I was going to Michaels to buy my mom her gift. On my way to the train station I stopped by Rite Aid and picked up the most idiot proof pregnancy test available. One with words.

I get out the train station and see a Whole Foods I have shopped at before. I was about to pee my pants in the train so I ran straight to the bathroom.

I peed on the stick.

I calmly waited because I didn't think I was pregnant. I was just taking it to put my mind at ease.

And then...

Oh Holy Shit.

I had a panic attack in the bathroom stall. I didn't know what to do with myself. I almost shitted my heart out. I was hyper ventilating.

I pulled myself together enough to walk out of the bathroom. Once outside I called my mother crying.

"MA! I'm pregnant" :*(

The woman was happy! She has been dying to become a grandmother. She told me this is nothing to cry about, everything is going to be okay, and to go home.

I called Ting- to tell him I was pregnant and that I had already called to make an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. He was upset that I didn't talk to him about it before making this decision. I understood where he was coming from but in reality we had only been dating for a little while and I am in no place in life to have a baby. I don't have a job and I live at home with my mother. He was actually considering keeping it! After some real talk he said he supports whatever I decide to do. He knows we shouldn't keep it, he isn't ready for a baby either (he is only 24. Yes, I am a cougar).

He was super supportive throughout out the entire process. I had morning sickness and he did great with that. He came with me to the procedure and wanted to take care of me after.

Like I mentioned before, I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I didn't think I would feel so relieved after.

So kiddies: I am living proof that PULLING OUT DOES NOT WORK.

Potent sperm is potent sperm.

I didn't use birth control consistently because I would get sick. My doctor recommended Nuva Ring and I haven't felt nausea at all. Nice!

On to the next topic. In my relationship with the Ex Fiance he loved more then I did. A lot more then I did. Ting is adamant about being with someone who loves him just as much or close to. He says 60/40 is the most if he had to put it in numbers but 70/30 is unbalanced and there is no way that relationship could be a healthy one.
Opinions?

Usual Morning Routine

I slowly wake from my sleep because I feel a presence in my room. I turn over to look at the time and notice its not the usual Pang getting ready for work I felt. There was nobody there.I'm still tired, I have a slight cold, so I disregard and go back to sleep.


I wake up again because my feet are frigid- as if it was sticking outside the window in 25 degree weather. I wake up- this time I really wake up- and cover my feet. I go back to sleep. I feel someone in my room again. I turn over to look at the time. Its 10:37 a.m. I am a little freaked out by what I am experiencing, I decide going to sleep isn't my best bet. I get up and start my morning routine.

I grab my towel, grab my box of bobby pins, pick up my hair, place the box of bobby pins on the sink, and hop in the shower.


I feel like someone is in the bathroom.


IMWIR: Pang?


No response.


Maybe the dog walked in the bathroom. I pay this no mind and continue to shower. I hear something fall on the floor. I peak my head out through the shower curtains and see my bobby pins all over the floor. Great, picking up bobby pins is so much fun.


I hop out of the shower and start to dry myself and I notice the bobby pins are being shuffled around- there is no one else in the bathroom with me. I stand still in disbelief.


I run to my room and get dressed. My father is in his room, he and I do not really bond but I had to tell someone what is going on.

I walk into my dads room, he is sitting on his usual corner, reading some sort of pamphlet.

IMWIR: Dad, I had a weird experience this morning. I think there is something in the house.

Dad: There is no one here, it's just you and I.

I explain what I felt this morning. He tells me I am crazy for thinking there is something in the house.

He is interrupted by foot marks walking across his bed and the room door closing on it's own.

IMWIR: Did you not just see that?!

My dad doesn't respond, he is in disbelief.

I was livid.

IMWIR: Whatever you are, I know you are here! If you are really here slam that closet door shut!

The closet door slams shut.

I was hoping it didn't happen. I was kind of hoping I was crazy. I wasn't.

I feel force push me back, now I am laying on the bed. I cannot breathe through my nose or my mouth. I start to shake trying to get air. I look at my dad and try to speak to him with my eyes. He is staring back scared. He doesn't see whatever this is, is covering my nose and mouth.

I jump up catching my breath. I am in my bed. I look at the time, it is 10:32 a.m. I grab my towel for my usual morning routine. As I walk to the bathroom I realize, it's only me and my father home...