I Peed On The Stick

I've been a little unfair with my lack of details with certain things. Let me rewind to last posts pregnancy.

I had been having pre menstrual cramps like usual, so i didn't think anything was up. Until a few days later I had noticed my sleep was ALL OFF. I was having weird dreams and just a hard time sleeping period. I NEVER have had this problem. My body was fatigued (I thought it was because of the sleep). I was taking naps during the day because I just couldn't stay awake.

Then I thought I am still having these cramps but where the fuck is my period?
Mothers day was around the corner, I was going to Michaels to buy my mom her gift. On my way to the train station I stopped by Rite Aid and picked up the most idiot proof pregnancy test available. One with words.

I get out the train station and see a Whole Foods I have shopped at before. I was about to pee my pants in the train so I ran straight to the bathroom.

I peed on the stick.

I calmly waited because I didn't think I was pregnant. I was just taking it to put my mind at ease.

And then...

Oh Holy Shit.

I had a panic attack in the bathroom stall. I didn't know what to do with myself. I almost shitted my heart out. I was hyper ventilating.

I pulled myself together enough to walk out of the bathroom. Once outside I called my mother crying.

"MA! I'm pregnant" :*(

The woman was happy! She has been dying to become a grandmother. She told me this is nothing to cry about, everything is going to be okay, and to go home.

I called Ting- to tell him I was pregnant and that I had already called to make an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. He was upset that I didn't talk to him about it before making this decision. I understood where he was coming from but in reality we had only been dating for a little while and I am in no place in life to have a baby. I don't have a job and I live at home with my mother. He was actually considering keeping it! After some real talk he said he supports whatever I decide to do. He knows we shouldn't keep it, he isn't ready for a baby either (he is only 24. Yes, I am a cougar).

He was super supportive throughout out the entire process. I had morning sickness and he did great with that. He came with me to the procedure and wanted to take care of me after.

Like I mentioned before, I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I didn't think I would feel so relieved after.

So kiddies: I am living proof that PULLING OUT DOES NOT WORK.

Potent sperm is potent sperm.

I didn't use birth control consistently because I would get sick. My doctor recommended Nuva Ring and I haven't felt nausea at all. Nice!

On to the next topic. In my relationship with the Ex Fiance he loved more then I did. A lot more then I did. Ting is adamant about being with someone who loves him just as much or close to. He says 60/40 is the most if he had to put it in numbers but 70/30 is unbalanced and there is no way that relationship could be a healthy one.
Opinions?

I know I Am An Adult When I Am Making These Types Of Decisions...

Bloggers! Long time no see...

It's been over a month. I am sorry. Well, lots been going on! Where shall I begin. Right, well... this happened...

Yeap.

It was Tings.

You read right. WAS. I didn't keep it. It was a mutual decision. It is for the best, he and I aren't ready for that yet, it wasn't the right time for US. I had the support of a lot of people and felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders when the procedure was over. I know I did the right thing.
^ADULT DECISION 1^

HELLO NUVA RING!

Staying on the subject of Ting, I am in trouble. My feelings for him are just growing stronger and stronger. I am happy to have him as a friend and more. It hasn't been peaches and cream this entire time (obviously, see above lol). We've gotten through everything together and have kept GREAT COMMUNICATION through it all.

The ex-fiance. Oh man I just had a hard talk with him yesterday. I had to let him know that I had to let go for real. I know he and I aren't going to work, atleast not right now. He had his chance to slide back in when he came back from boot camp and he didn't take it. It is time for me to be fair to someone else. The ex-fiance still had hope for us and would guilt trip me for not answering his calls. It hurt, but it needed to be done. I am going to miss him.
^ADULT DECISION 2^

The NYPD called me. I don't want to jinx it so all I will say is there is a high chance of a large class going in July. This might be my turn. ::FINGERS CROSSED::


Ting has to go to Vegas for a week for work. He bought me my flight so we could spend some time together assuming I will be getting into the July academy. I didn't think I would look forward to spending an entire week alone with someone like this. I bought a few sexy little things to thank him ;o)... I'll let you know how it goes.
 
FYI I am almost up to my 100th blog and I don't know what to do with that lol.

Usual Morning Routine

I slowly wake from my sleep because I feel a presence in my room. I turn over to look at the time and notice its not the usual Pang getting ready for work I felt. There was nobody there.I'm still tired, I have a slight cold, so I disregard and go back to sleep.


I wake up again because my feet are frigid- as if it was sticking outside the window in 25 degree weather. I wake up- this time I really wake up- and cover my feet. I go back to sleep. I feel someone in my room again. I turn over to look at the time. Its 10:37 a.m. I am a little freaked out by what I am experiencing, I decide going to sleep isn't my best bet. I get up and start my morning routine.

I grab my towel, grab my box of bobby pins, pick up my hair, place the box of bobby pins on the sink, and hop in the shower.


I feel like someone is in the bathroom.


IMWIR: Pang?


No response.


Maybe the dog walked in the bathroom. I pay this no mind and continue to shower. I hear something fall on the floor. I peak my head out through the shower curtains and see my bobby pins all over the floor. Great, picking up bobby pins is so much fun.


I hop out of the shower and start to dry myself and I notice the bobby pins are being shuffled around- there is no one else in the bathroom with me. I stand still in disbelief.


I run to my room and get dressed. My father is in his room, he and I do not really bond but I had to tell someone what is going on.

I walk into my dads room, he is sitting on his usual corner, reading some sort of pamphlet.

IMWIR: Dad, I had a weird experience this morning. I think there is something in the house.

Dad: There is no one here, it's just you and I.

I explain what I felt this morning. He tells me I am crazy for thinking there is something in the house.

He is interrupted by foot marks walking across his bed and the room door closing on it's own.

IMWIR: Did you not just see that?!

My dad doesn't respond, he is in disbelief.

I was livid.

IMWIR: Whatever you are, I know you are here! If you are really here slam that closet door shut!

The closet door slams shut.

I was hoping it didn't happen. I was kind of hoping I was crazy. I wasn't.

I feel force push me back, now I am laying on the bed. I cannot breathe through my nose or my mouth. I start to shake trying to get air. I look at my dad and try to speak to him with my eyes. He is staring back scared. He doesn't see whatever this is, is covering my nose and mouth.

I jump up catching my breath. I am in my bed. I look at the time, it is 10:32 a.m. I grab my towel for my usual morning routine. As I walk to the bathroom I realize, it's only me and my father home...