Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate... I Don't Care What Bitches Say... I Don't Even Look That Way...

Ok, I am lying, apparently I do care what bitches say. In this case, male bitches.

I've never had a love for Facebook. It was something to have to keep in touch with peeps... but I've never really been a fan of how dependant people are of it, and how things get a stamp of approval once it's been posted on facebook.

You know Jenny is really pregnant when she puts it on her status.
You know John and Elly are really serious when they change their relationship status.
True story, my neighbor caught her boyfriend lying about his whereabouts because of a picture he posted on facebook. Psh, stupid now EX boyfriend of hers.

During my trip to the Poconos with Ting we took a really nice picture. It was nice, sepia, and Ting looked good in it. It was genuinely a nice picture. I put it as my default for no other reason then IT WAS A NICE PICTURE.

Oh Holy Shit.

I have never, not even when I was engaged received so many messages (not even comments) about a picture. How many male haters are out there?

I had a few people just ask who he was, I don't really post too much of my personal info on there. I try not to make my status' too personal whenever I do update them, so I can see why people would get curious... but adult male haters? Really? I mean, no, really? I am lacking a huge amount of understanding with this one. I am very over protective with things I care about. I am super over protective with my mother, my sisters, and apparently my relationship with Ting.

I deactivated my account, for now at least. I was caught off guard with this.

Moving on. My girls have decided they want to have a slutty dress night out. Those of you who know us personally know that we aren't those kinds of girls that wear those dresses you have to keep pulling down at the club. I DON'T EVEN OWN ONE. But I have two newly single ladies in my inner circle, and one not so newly but still single lady (PANG, my sister)... and if these newly founded sluts want to have a night out in some of those dresses- I can suck it up for one night.

I went out and shopped where the sluts shop. I am not a girl with a shape, so finding a dress wasn't easy... but I found one. WITH PLEATHER lol. Yes, you read right. That being said, stay tuned for the follow up blog next month about this night. It's scheduled for the weekend of May 21st. I will post a pic.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, No, I Haven't Wondered How You Are but Thanks for Hitting Me Up

I hate that all my blogs have been about boys lately. I promise to write one about something else one day, but besides boys- all I have to talk about is salsa... And the fact that I don't have a job and the NYPD isn't looking good yet again. Bloomberg does not disappoint.

Twinkle... Oh Twinkle. What an ass.

He calls me and leaves me a message wishing me a happy new year. I check my voicemail twice a month (if you need me people know to text me, those I read every 37 seconds). I check my voice mail today and being the text whore that I am, I text him back thanking him and apologizing for my late response.

I was NOT expecting his response to this. In a nut shell...

He said me responding is senseless, that I am a bull shitter and he hopes I mature and stop bull shitting people. Apparently I have issues and he hopes I work them out and that I need to stop using the excuse that I am not happy with what is going on in my life to treat people the way that I do. He is happy where he is in his life and- I forgot what else he said. It was a total of like 10 long text messages.

I retaliated as politely as possible and told him I am very happy for him that he is in a good place in his life but apparently I am not the only one who needs to mature if I'm going around rubbing that in someones face who told you they WEREN'T in a good place in their life. I hope he gets a high out of trying to belittle people. He can't be upset because I decided to pay him no mind because I wasn't in a good place, if anything, I was doing him a favor. Who is he to question my motives... I have never been dishonest with him regarding that, and its low of him to say I was using that as an excuse to cover up me being with other men.

This happened in July and I wasn't in a good place, I hadn't gotten into the academy and I felt really lost.

I wished him good luck with his tour in Iraq and told him that unless he had something positive to say not to respond. I wasn't in his inner circle for him to speak to me that way.

I honestly do not understand... I never made plans with him and stood him up.
I never gave him false hope or ever mentioned wanting anything. On the contrary, I've told him I couldn't be in anything at the moment. (Fitness was still fading out the picture at this point).
WHY WOULD YOU HIT ME UP TO BEGIN WITH IF YOU THINK I AM A BULL SHITTER? His response to this was, he wishes even a murderer the best. Well, thanks for putting me in a category with a murderer, and thanks for going out of your way to wish my the best.

In the words of the Ex Fiance "bitter much?"

I had just gotten dissed by a guy shorter then me (I'm 5'2). Welcome 2010!
(Is it said two thousand ten, or twenty ten?)

Which brings me to my next point. My only new years resolution- text less and call more. The only person I reallllly speak to on the phone is the Ex Fiance... and on occasion the break dancer. I think I am slowly loosing my ability to carry a conversation on the phone.

Saltiest Kiss of My Life

I am back from vacationing at the Bahamas and although I had a horrible experience (I will touch base and elaborate on this later in the post) I did:

• Get to enjoy a hot day (I need to move somewhere hot. It truly puts me in a happy place. I hate the cold.)


• Swam with dolphins (check that off my "must do in life" list)


• Unexpectedly got kissed on the mouth by a sea lion (it was the sweetest, best, saltiest kiss of my life... And it came from a sea lion named Cassie. I kissed a girl, and I liked it.)


• Went down the slide on the Mayan Temple in the Atlantis resort (after walking up, chickening out, and being pep talked by the resort employee).

This vacation was an experience to say the least. I want to go back to my last post I Packed for Heat.
My sister Pang told me she had told my neighbor what happened and I immediately asked her "why?!" This caught me off guard, my neighbor is like family and we aren't ashamed to tell each other things. The reality of it is that I am embarrassed, and that's why I asked why.

Now that I have the time to write, let me go into further detail...
I had been drinking a good amount- I usually don't depend on alcohol but I could tell to survive 3 nights with this guy I WAS GOING TO NEED IT.
We went to bed and I started to doze off. I should have woken up when I felt him attempt to come snuggle with me. I kind of just tried to push him off and repositioned myself and KNOCKED OUT. I can't even tell you how much time in between that and the moment he started to rub the inside of my leg happen but I remember feeling that but still sleeping. Apparently I moaned when he went down on me (I found this out through conversation with him later)...
He went in and when he flipped over to put me on top is when I finally was forced to kind of wake up. I was so dizzy. I thought to myself wtf is going on. It was my first night there so it took me a while to register that I wasn't home sleeping in my bed. I remembered that I was in the Bahamas with HIM and I opened my eyes, jumped off, and ran to the shower.
He asked me if I was okay, I said yes from inside the shower and replied "I hope you aren't mad at me..."
Now I'm just feeling hung over because the reality of what just happened took any drunkenness I had away... And I'm pretty pissed but not recognizing it because I'm still in disbelief.
I tell him to leave me alone and I go to sleep.

The next day we barely exchange words. I went to walk around and found the beach. I couldn't stop thinking about the ex fiance and how I wish I was there with him instead. I wanted to talk to him about what happened, he is a comfort of mine.

The guy finally brings it up and tells me he enjoyed making love to me. ::gag::
We exchange the following points.The conversation didn't go word for word like this but here are the key points...

IMWIR: I was drunk. If I was sober that wouldn't not have happened. It was a mistake and very poor judgement on my part.
Him: I didn't seem that drunk. I moaned and made suggestions that I was enjoying it. Do I feel like I was raped? Do I honestly feel this was a mistake?
IMWIR: I don't have to stagger to be drunk. People who know me can tell I am drunk by the look on my face and he knows I was drunk. I drank a lot, and he paid for them so he knows I drank a lot. Rape is a strong word so I won't use it but I do feel I was taken advantage of in a state where I could not make decisions. I not only had been drinking but already in slumber... The combination of the two is enough to put me in the wrong state for him to have tried that. That would have NEVER happened had I been okay.
Him: I can ask anyone and they will say me accepting the trip knows sex would probably be involved.
IMWIR: He booked a trip to the Dominican Republic for us before and his money went to waste because I never went for that reason and he knew the reason why. He knows how I feel about him, I never lead him on. I accepted this trip because he asked endlessly and I didn't want his $ to go to waste. He is a man, I didn't think I needed to sit and talk him through the rules of the game again. I never demonstrated they would have changed. Regardless, the moment to try that was not when I was drunk and sleeping.

This situation is open for interpretation. People will have their opinions, some will say I got raped (like the ex fiance), others will think that I got taken advantage of (which is what I prefer to say), some find no difference between the two. Whatever the case, it is an ugly situation.

To top it off- AFTER this conversation, I am looking through his camera (with his permission of coarse) and as I flip through them I see he took close ups of my crotch area- disgusting! All in all, I have never felt so violated- to top it off by a police officer.

His defense: he took a picture of every part of my body (my feet, eyes, butt, back of my head...) which he did.

I can't believe I even have a post up here like this...