Just a Thank You with Regrets

Incase you wanted a good laugh:

I was looking through my scrap book of my road trip and decided to send Scarf a message (since he deleted me off of everything lol). Here is how it played out: (I am in green, he is in brown)

Hey mambo Scarf



I was looking through my scrap book and just wanted to say thank you for the experience. :)


Hope all is well.
In My World I ROCK

It was an experience for sure. Its not everyday that a trip like that presents itself. It is humbling at times. Not sure what you got out of it at the end....thats yours and yours alone to determine. A trip of a lifetime...not many people get an opportunity to get to see America like that. I have been fortunate enough to do it three times...who knows, maybe i'll get motivated to do it again someday.



Treasure it. Its special to see the things that you did in such a short period of time.
Scarf

I know not many people get a chance to do that and I got to do it because of you, so thank you. I appreciate it and haven't taken it for granted.

I'll be honest, weeks prior, I struggled with going on the trip with you. (You may have sensed that and you may had thoughts of reconsidering yourself). We both had several chances to change our minds.


I decided to go thru with it becasue I typically commit to things even whend I am not absolutely sure if its the right thing to do. Everything was telling me to call it off....who knows, maybe I should have...but, that's the past. I learned alot about myself and about you on the road. I wouldn't go as far to say that I regret the trip or that it was one big effing mistake, but I will certainly learn from this experience. I will take what I can from it and appreciate the fact that I can and could do it.
Scarf

Lol obviously you have your issues with the situation. If you regret it, or had second thoughts about it that is fine. I am comfortable in knowing I didn't do you wrong. You have a right to own your feelings though, so if you have any negative emotions those are yours to own. With that said, I was still grateful for the experience.

LMAO. Its not a matter have having issues...its a matter of should I have taken someone across the country with me that I just didn't know that well and the fact we had a fallling out just before the trip. How is that an issue? Its a legit concern. But again....I had the final decision and said, what the fuck...lets just do this and see what happens. No hard feelings IMWIR...I am not busting your chops about it...just wanted to share with you how I felt about it since we haven't talked since the trip. It was actually funny....come to think of it.



Lets just leave it at that....your grateful.

Lol yes I am.



Take care Scarf.
 
Just like him, his attitude is getting old lol.

A Hello MIGHT Have Killed Him

OH. MY. GOD.

Yes, I had to start the post off by saying that.
THIS MAN CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
Who else do you think I am speaking of?
Take a wild guess...

...


...


...

...

....................................

I get to the salsa party at the Empire State building (this should be your first clue as to who I am referring to), everyone and their mother is at this party. It is packed! Hard to walk, even more difficult to dance in. I make my way through the crowd greeting everyone I know along the way when I stumble upon a large group of people I know.

I stop completely to say my hello's. I am introduced to some people I have never formally met and there stands Scarf.

I know how to be civil, especially in such an adult environment. I said hello to everyone there. Everyone there knows Scarf and I are friends, they have seen us speak and dance before. The correct thing to do is to acknowledge the fact that he is standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE.

In My World I ROCK: "Hey Scarf"
Scarf : rolls his eyes and gives me the "whats up" head bop without even looking at me.

This saggy skin, bad breath, balding 40 year old man needs to stop his shit. Seriously. I will no longer make the effort to be civil with him. I will treat him the way he wants to be treated, like he does not exist.

I have done NOTHING to him- I seriously do not understand... and I will stop trying to understand.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, No, I Haven't Wondered How You Are but Thanks for Hitting Me Up

I hate that all my blogs have been about boys lately. I promise to write one about something else one day, but besides boys- all I have to talk about is salsa... And the fact that I don't have a job and the NYPD isn't looking good yet again. Bloomberg does not disappoint.

Twinkle... Oh Twinkle. What an ass.

He calls me and leaves me a message wishing me a happy new year. I check my voicemail twice a month (if you need me people know to text me, those I read every 37 seconds). I check my voice mail today and being the text whore that I am, I text him back thanking him and apologizing for my late response.

I was NOT expecting his response to this. In a nut shell...

He said me responding is senseless, that I am a bull shitter and he hopes I mature and stop bull shitting people. Apparently I have issues and he hopes I work them out and that I need to stop using the excuse that I am not happy with what is going on in my life to treat people the way that I do. He is happy where he is in his life and- I forgot what else he said. It was a total of like 10 long text messages.

I retaliated as politely as possible and told him I am very happy for him that he is in a good place in his life but apparently I am not the only one who needs to mature if I'm going around rubbing that in someones face who told you they WEREN'T in a good place in their life. I hope he gets a high out of trying to belittle people. He can't be upset because I decided to pay him no mind because I wasn't in a good place, if anything, I was doing him a favor. Who is he to question my motives... I have never been dishonest with him regarding that, and its low of him to say I was using that as an excuse to cover up me being with other men.

This happened in July and I wasn't in a good place, I hadn't gotten into the academy and I felt really lost.

I wished him good luck with his tour in Iraq and told him that unless he had something positive to say not to respond. I wasn't in his inner circle for him to speak to me that way.

I honestly do not understand... I never made plans with him and stood him up.
I never gave him false hope or ever mentioned wanting anything. On the contrary, I've told him I couldn't be in anything at the moment. (Fitness was still fading out the picture at this point).
WHY WOULD YOU HIT ME UP TO BEGIN WITH IF YOU THINK I AM A BULL SHITTER? His response to this was, he wishes even a murderer the best. Well, thanks for putting me in a category with a murderer, and thanks for going out of your way to wish my the best.

In the words of the Ex Fiance "bitter much?"

I had just gotten dissed by a guy shorter then me (I'm 5'2). Welcome 2010!
(Is it said two thousand ten, or twenty ten?)

Which brings me to my next point. My only new years resolution- text less and call more. The only person I reallllly speak to on the phone is the Ex Fiance... and on occasion the break dancer. I think I am slowly loosing my ability to carry a conversation on the phone.

Scarves Are SEASONAL

HIS SEASON IS UP!

I was not even going to blog about this but this made me laugh, made my mom laugh, and I am pretty sure it might make you chuckle.

If you read my previous post you know that Scarf has opted OUT of this friendship.He was being short with me before I even found out he decided being my friend was not his cup of tea (apparently, I have nothing but looks... according to him)... I already knew if I ever saw him again it would be interesting. He did not disappoint.

Today he calls me and asks me if I will be home in an hour, he will be in the city and wanted to drop my stuff off.
I told him if I am not home, my mom will be so to swing by anyway. He request that I be there to make sure everything I need is there. We arrange a time and that was that.

He calls me when he arrives and I go outside. He walks out of his car as I approach (doesn't even look at me). I am already smiling to help myself from laughing... He opens his trunk and gives me his back, this entire time he has a serious face on. I pick up the box (without looking at his direction either, two can play this game), say thank you, and start to walk off.
I had forgotten my Dominican flag, he takes out of his trunk and says "here!" and hands it to me a little aggressively (mind you, both my hands are occupied carrying the box). I flex my fingers on the bottom that are holding the bottom of the box and take the flag.

The entire time we didn't make eye contact or say anything but "thank you" and "here". Some one watching this would have thought we were going through a bitter divorce or something, obviously him being the bitter one because I had a smile on my face the entire time.

Lord knows what I have done to this man. Maybe he has access to this blog and I don't know about it but I have not written anything that is not true here. Besides, this blog is titled MY SIDE OF THE STORY, if he is bitter and wants to tell his side he can start his own blog.

It's winter, it's cold, but people have made it without scarves for many many years. I can live without this behavior. So many clues were there, thankfully this time I actually paid attention.

Trimming the Fat

New Year... Time to TRIM THE FAT! Scarf... remember him?

Well, after the trip I've hit him up out of courtesy, basic "hey, how are you doing? Did you make it safe?" type stuff and I would get very short answers like "Yes, I am fine. You'll get you're stuff next week".
Ummm... I didn't even ask for my things but thanks for letting me know when I will get them.

This goes on a few times...

New Years Day arrives. I decide to go on his FB wall and say Happy New Year. I search every name and he isn't on it. Just to double check before I die of laughter at what is going on I go to a mutual friends page and see that they are still friends. I click his name and surely he deleted me.

SERIOUSLY?!

My message to him titled UH OH LOL on FB reads:
seriously??? Scarf, I have no idea what was done for me to receive short answers- and to be removed from your FB.FB isn't a big deal... I just don't think that anything I've done has been that bad to the point for you to react this way.We are both adults... I don't mind that we don't continue a friendship, I'll get over it but thanks for the good talks. See you sometime next week.

His response (my side comments are in parenthesis):
IMWIR, I can't say its anything that you did or said. It more of a poor judgement choice on my part. Like I said, I didn't quite know why i found myself liking you so much. The more I thought about it, it probably came down to I just found you attractive and really had very little to go on from there (pfffffft). FB, i removed not only you, but quite a few others too. To me, FB should be for friends that I want to interact with and keep up with. I know I will be seeing you out at salsa venues and feel that is good enough for me. I know you don't mind continuing being friends, and sure getting over it is not a problem for you. The trip certainly opened my eyes to who I need to focus my time and energy on. You got a great trip out of it, you made some new friends. I know this whole thing is NOT a big deal to you, which is WHY i did not make any attempt, (until now) to explain or discuss it with you. I've felt for quite some time, that our friendship wasn't a "big deal." So, no hard feelings.

My response:
I'll keep this brief. My friendship with you was a big deal... What I couldn't deal with (and its not just with you, its with anyone at this point) was a relationship. I can respect everything you just said, thank you for even responding.
Hasta Luego,
In My World I Rock

For him to say that it was just a physical attraction and nothing else after all that shit he told me is Bull. I think it was just an ego blow (maybe) that he got shut down by someone he liked (twice, he fell for this girl in Vegas who wasn't feeling him like that either).

He knows how I feel about the Ex Fiance and knows that is the only person at the moment I am willing to get into anything serious until I meet someone who I am willing to take the chance on. He isn't it.

For a 40 year old man he sure has some childish tendencies. From the phone call about the guy kissing on my neck (which didn't happen), to then saying that he was just using that as a bridge to ask me what was up with us after he saw how bothered I got by this high school behavior, to kicking his charger because it wasn't working (Pang and I got some good laughs out of this one)... and a few other things Pang can attest to.

Honestly, after this trip and seeing what he is like, he is right- I don't think we should remain good friends... and I wasn't trying to be his best friend BUT to just completely wipe each other out of our lives like there was some wrong doing I think is a little excessive. But there is Scarf for ya.

Womp Womp POMP!

OH JESUS where do I begin with this one...

If you ever want to get to know someone, spend two weeks in a car with them.
Scarf and I literally spent 24 hours of the day together. No, we didn't have sex- he had a conversation with me about this before we even went on the road trip (whew). This is how the conversation came about and it should have been my first clue to what I would have to be dealing with.

He sends me a text (remember, this is before the trip) while I was sleeping to please give him a call when I have the time. I call him as soon as I see that message. He goes on to tell me that a friend of his called him to ask him if he was still going on this trip with me because she had seen me with a guy earlier that week at a salsa party and the guy was kissing on my neck. (This did NOT happen, I am a very private person when it comes to salsa). If this would have been true then I would have fessed up but who the hell is going around making shit up about me? ARE WE IN THE FIFTH GRADE???

I thought about not even catering to this, which is what I should have done... But he kept talking about it and said if I had something with someone else to just tell him. I told him it is no ones business if I am having someone kiss on my neck... no one in Salsa knows I was hanging out with him like that and I did that for a reason. I asked him to do the same to avoid shit like this but apparently he couldn't. He said he never told her but she just put two and two together when he told her I was going on this trip alone with him. THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL HER THAT?

1. He then goes on to speak about what is going on with him and I. I tell him I am not ready for anything serious with him and I refuse to deal with this kind of elementary bull, so it's best if we just remain friends.
   This is the very short version of what happened. During the road trip he brings it up AGAIN. Sweet Jesus, give me patience.
   He likes to twist things around to make himself look alright. He noticed I kept getting bothered by the bull shit of having a girl call him with this "he said she said" shit. I told him he is a 40 year old man, I don't know why am I dealing with this kind of stuff with a man twice my age, after I said this he changes his story a little bit that the phone call wasn't a big deal, he was using it as a bridge to ask me about us. I began to even wonder if that phone call even happened.
   He is POMPOUS. Brags about money to other people, talks about how he has money to me all the time. I was kind of tired hearing him talk about money. He will twist the truth so that he comes out looking okay, Ex:
   
   We were in a car with another guy in the passenger seat. I was sitting in the back seat. The passenger was giving him directions and he points to the left and says "turn left". Scarf turns right. We all ask him what is he doing and he says "you said turn right", we all correct him and say he said left. Scarf then goes "oh, I meant he said left and pointed right so I followed his hand." We all had this confused look on our faces, and I KNOW he pointed left but the little man cannot admit he made a mistake in this case so we let it go.
   
2. A guy from a tattoo shop had wanted to hang out but did not want to go out clubbing. So he told me to invite everyone over to his house, he has a hot tub and a pool table with a bar in his basement. I told everyone but we did not end up going. The night I was in the hotel room throwing up my In-n-Out french fries he makes a comment to my sister about how I give out my number to anyone and mocks me wanting to hang out with the guy from the shop and that the guy probably did not even invite us all. He said that I probably said we all have to come.I called him out on this the next day and he then says he is offended because he thought him and Pang were friends. That he meant it as a joke and there was no need for her to bring that up. OH REALLY?



3. We were in a cab in Denver, the total was 6 bucks. He hands he guy a 5o dollar bill but the cabbie does not have change for that, he had just started his shift. Scarf asks him what kind of cab is he that carries no change. The cab responds that business isn't good and that he JUST STARTED HIS SHIFT. He asks Scarf if he has anything smaller, Scarf says no, he is from NY and people from New York and with money don't carry anything smaller then a 50. PFFFT. They get into it and the cab tells him there is no need to argue, they will find a solution. I had enough of hearing this so I tell the cab I am a poor New Yorker so I have a $10. I gave it to him, apologized and got out of the cab.



4. Another time he was checking in and I waited in the car , the valet guy had to move it to make way for other cars and we had a brief conversation. He asked me where I am from, I told him NY. He asked what were we in town for and if it was my first time, I told him it was my second and I was there with my friend for dancing- he responds "oh I thought that was your boyfriend". I tell him no, he is just a friend... he says bye and that was that.Once we are in our room Scarf says "the valet guy was giving me props, asking me where did I get such a pretty girlfriend" (he is saying this in a very Scarf way, Pang knows what I am talking about) and I tell him, without even looking at him "he knows I am not your girlfriend". I turn around and he is just looking caught. Then he says "he asked you?! he isn't suppose to be asking you things like that."



5. When that whole thing with Pang and the tattoo artist happened he woke me up to ask me if he should cancel the Cirque tickets because one thing he does not mess around with is money. Those tickets were expensive (they were alright, he bragged about them like they were the best seats in the house) and if we aren't going to be his friend that he doesn't need to spend his money. Or something along those lines. ARE YOU SERIOUS... AGAIN?!

He wasn't all bad all the time... but I saw a side of him that I know I could NOT live with. I am glad Pang got to see it as well because I started to think I was crazy for seeing this ALL THE TIME.

Besides that- I had a great time, there was never an awkward moment. He was a great host, he knew where he was going and I just had to sit back and relax :)

Saltiest Kiss of My Life

I am back from vacationing at the Bahamas and although I had a horrible experience (I will touch base and elaborate on this later in the post) I did:

• Get to enjoy a hot day (I need to move somewhere hot. It truly puts me in a happy place. I hate the cold.)


• Swam with dolphins (check that off my "must do in life" list)


• Unexpectedly got kissed on the mouth by a sea lion (it was the sweetest, best, saltiest kiss of my life... And it came from a sea lion named Cassie. I kissed a girl, and I liked it.)


• Went down the slide on the Mayan Temple in the Atlantis resort (after walking up, chickening out, and being pep talked by the resort employee).

This vacation was an experience to say the least. I want to go back to my last post I Packed for Heat.
My sister Pang told me she had told my neighbor what happened and I immediately asked her "why?!" This caught me off guard, my neighbor is like family and we aren't ashamed to tell each other things. The reality of it is that I am embarrassed, and that's why I asked why.

Now that I have the time to write, let me go into further detail...
I had been drinking a good amount- I usually don't depend on alcohol but I could tell to survive 3 nights with this guy I WAS GOING TO NEED IT.
We went to bed and I started to doze off. I should have woken up when I felt him attempt to come snuggle with me. I kind of just tried to push him off and repositioned myself and KNOCKED OUT. I can't even tell you how much time in between that and the moment he started to rub the inside of my leg happen but I remember feeling that but still sleeping. Apparently I moaned when he went down on me (I found this out through conversation with him later)...
He went in and when he flipped over to put me on top is when I finally was forced to kind of wake up. I was so dizzy. I thought to myself wtf is going on. It was my first night there so it took me a while to register that I wasn't home sleeping in my bed. I remembered that I was in the Bahamas with HIM and I opened my eyes, jumped off, and ran to the shower.
He asked me if I was okay, I said yes from inside the shower and replied "I hope you aren't mad at me..."
Now I'm just feeling hung over because the reality of what just happened took any drunkenness I had away... And I'm pretty pissed but not recognizing it because I'm still in disbelief.
I tell him to leave me alone and I go to sleep.

The next day we barely exchange words. I went to walk around and found the beach. I couldn't stop thinking about the ex fiance and how I wish I was there with him instead. I wanted to talk to him about what happened, he is a comfort of mine.

The guy finally brings it up and tells me he enjoyed making love to me. ::gag::
We exchange the following points.The conversation didn't go word for word like this but here are the key points...

IMWIR: I was drunk. If I was sober that wouldn't not have happened. It was a mistake and very poor judgement on my part.
Him: I didn't seem that drunk. I moaned and made suggestions that I was enjoying it. Do I feel like I was raped? Do I honestly feel this was a mistake?
IMWIR: I don't have to stagger to be drunk. People who know me can tell I am drunk by the look on my face and he knows I was drunk. I drank a lot, and he paid for them so he knows I drank a lot. Rape is a strong word so I won't use it but I do feel I was taken advantage of in a state where I could not make decisions. I not only had been drinking but already in slumber... The combination of the two is enough to put me in the wrong state for him to have tried that. That would have NEVER happened had I been okay.
Him: I can ask anyone and they will say me accepting the trip knows sex would probably be involved.
IMWIR: He booked a trip to the Dominican Republic for us before and his money went to waste because I never went for that reason and he knew the reason why. He knows how I feel about him, I never lead him on. I accepted this trip because he asked endlessly and I didn't want his $ to go to waste. He is a man, I didn't think I needed to sit and talk him through the rules of the game again. I never demonstrated they would have changed. Regardless, the moment to try that was not when I was drunk and sleeping.

This situation is open for interpretation. People will have their opinions, some will say I got raped (like the ex fiance), others will think that I got taken advantage of (which is what I prefer to say), some find no difference between the two. Whatever the case, it is an ugly situation.

To top it off- AFTER this conversation, I am looking through his camera (with his permission of coarse) and as I flip through them I see he took close ups of my crotch area- disgusting! All in all, I have never felt so violated- to top it off by a police officer.

His defense: he took a picture of every part of my body (my feet, eyes, butt, back of my head...) which he did.

I can't believe I even have a post up here like this...

He Thinks I have Potential. How Flattering.

Here is one for shit's and giggles.

This is a guy I went to college with and that is that. Nothing every happened and he has never been mentioned, nor will get a label on the post because- well... he will probably never be mentioned again. I will keep his initials JD.

I have not changed anything except the names.

Participants:-------------In My World I ROCK (IMWIR), J D

Messages:---------

J D: Hi

IMWIR Hola :)

J D: Hi chula

J D: Como estas

IMWIR: With a stuffy nose :) lol

J D: Ouchh

J D: Hope u geT better

J D: What's new

J D: What are you up to

IMWIR: Not much. A few vacations coming up

J D: A few?

IMWIR: Well- 2

J D: Are you a cop already?

J D: Hmm I just came back from dr

J D: 8 days

IMWIR: How was that? No I'm not a cop yet? Where r u working now? The same place?

J D: Yes

J D: It was fun I needed it

J D: Nothing crazy but I got to relax

J D: You still live up In the heights

J D: ?

IMWIR: Yeah man

J D: Cool

J D: Todavis soltera?

IMWIR: Yea

J D: Tempting

J D: Olle viene el frio ya

J D: Hmm

J D: Lol

IMWIR: I hate the cold

J D: I see

J D: So what's up?

J D: Vamo a comenzar los amores ahora pa cuando llegue el frio tar ready

J D: Lol

J D: Que diga tar abrigados lol

IMWIR: Lmao

J D: I'll take that as a yes.

J D: Hmm I know I liked u school

J D: Debimos salir

J D: I always wanted to do you

J D: ;)

IMWIR: Wow

IMWIR: Lol that straight forward

J D: Lol

J D: Ya tamo en el 2010 casi

J D: Muchacha

J D: Its true I think your a good fuck

J D: But you prob make a nice wofe too

J D: I'm jusy trying to say you have potential

J D: In the event

IMWIR: Wow

IMWIR: I'm glad you see me as a good fuck but I give my "pussy" value... And I don't go around just fucking guys.

IMWIR: So I appreciate the compliment (I suppose) but you can't scratch that idea out of your "to do" list

IMWIR: Take care J D

J D: Dique now your shy

J D: No no te ofenda

J D: Ok

J D: I actually think your a descent girl

J D: What?

J D: But you look very interesting

J D: I just suck at expresing myself

J D: :(

IMWIR: Apology accepted but this conversation ends here. Again, take care JD.

JD: kk bye

*END CONVO*

Then he deleted me off of Black Berry Messanger.

I Know Too Much

This wasn't meant to be a blog about my dating life. Actually, I tried to make it a point to NOT make it about just boys but I guess all I have been doing is having fun- while dating.

Today I am going to flip the switch and write about something else that is very important in my life. MY PARENTS.

Usually I will write, and re write a blog but this one I am just winging it. I actually don't even know where to start...

I've always felt that I KNOW TOO MUCH. I love my mother, I've said it before- I have had, since little, an unhealthy attachment to that woman. She is my friend, actually, she is one of my better friends.

I think my mom feels the same about me. I think that sometimes it is hard for her to draw a line between mother and friend ONLY WHEN it comes to talking about her personal business. I feel like I KNOW TOO MUCH.

I've had my differences with my dad. Every fight I have had with him has been because of my inability to back down from something I think is unfair. I have my rights to judge him for what has happened between him and I. Honestly, I have judged him for things I know about him through my mother. I know that I know too much.

But how do you tell your mother, who you can tell is telling you these things because she needs an outlet... "Mom, stop... Maybe I shouldn't know all of this..."

I never said it. And today, I wish I did.
Let me explain...

When the ex fiance and I broke up I moved back home to a hostile situation between my parents. Shortly after moving back my parents "separated" and my mom has been sleeping on a couch in my room. At first I thought this was just one of their shenanigans.

It wasn't.

My mom still sleeps in my room.

My parents talk divorce.
He says my mom has put his personal business out there about problems they've had in the bedroom, and my mom has just had problems with him for years...

My mom suffers from depression and insomnia. I think what has been helping her has been READING.

While at the library, she is at the Spanish books section just flipping through books and finds this book of magic where there is a section about insomnia. She decides to look at a few other books in that genre and finds that a few of them have a insomnia section. She takes 3 out and brings them home.

My dad comes home and finds this. It triggers his curiosity so he looks through all her books and of coarse he finds two more.

He approaches my mom about this, starts to fight to her that he thinks she is into some brujeria. That there is a smell in the house that she refuses to explain (its a glade plug in... and she refuses to tell him what or where it is because then he will remove it), and then he finds these books.

My mom and him start going back and forth about snooping through each others shit, and a bunch of other things.

I am in the bathroom getting ready for an event while this is happening and I start to get that feeling of anxiety so I shut the door and put the music up. Pang is in our bedroom and she does the complete opposite, she lowers the music so she could hear better lol.

Anyway, my mom comes up to me today and asks me if I heard what happened yesterday. I smirk and say yes. She goes on to repeat the entire argument as she saw it and tells me that at night she was thinking that once he told her that he thinks someone did some brujeria (witchery) to him. After he saw that book that maybe he thinks the reason why he is IMPOTENT is because she was the one who did it to him.

MY HEART DROPPED, I tried not to react to what I was hearing.

I kind of wish I didn't know. I know that I know too much.

He Put His Name On The Card

I know you are all probably thinking WHAT ABOUT SCARF?

Scarf... Here is the latest:

My moms birthday was rolling around. I was planning a very intimate surprise gathering for her and decided against cake. I opted for Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. Being that I live in the city, there are no Cheesecake Factory's in the city, and I don't have a car, I was either going to have to haul ass or ask for a favor.

I asked for the favor and Scarf was at the receiving end.

He agreed to pick up the cheesecake for me. Awesome!

He is very creative and asked me if I wanted him to spice it up a bit. I told him he could do his thing. He tells me he made a card to go along with it that says its from In My World I Rock and Scarf, and asked if that was ok.

nice right?

this wasn't the original product but it was the only one I could find without the card with our names or any family members in it.

It wasn't a big deal to me UNTIL...Out of courtesy I ask how much do I owe him. He says "it's more but just give me $50". I was taken a back because I honestly didn't think he would charge me. He hands me the receipt from the cheesecake factory and I realize the things I ordered just came out to a total of an estimated $30. Meaning he charged me for all the extra things he spent on making it pretty... Which is cool. It's my moms birthday, I won't cry over spending money on her, and it's just $20 but it is the principle he PUT HIS NAME ON THE CARD!

WTF

3 days later we are at a salsa social. We didn't arrive together and I kind of don't like my personal business out there in that scene so I keep it low key. He on the other hand kisses me hello, good bye, and always sits to chit chat <- which is cool.

I'm sitting alone, minding my business when he comes to me and says "whenever you have time during the week, we need to talk" and walks away.

This shit made me feel like when I was 10 and my mom would tell me "tenemos que hablar". You know that meant nothing good. She would never warn me about talking about anything good.

I decided he wasn't going to keep me wondering until we both had time to talk. It was a busy week for the both of us so it was going to be at least 6 days before that would happen. I told him we could step outside and speak then. Sometimes I just wish I would let things be.

We sat in his car and he basically confessed how much he likes me and how I make him feel.

He hasn't felt this way about a girl since his ex girlfriend (his last and only love). He can tell I sometimes hold back and he doesn't know what to make of that. If I don't want to kiss him I don't have to but he is human and if he isn't something I want I need to let him know so he can let it be what it is.

I explained why I it is I am not affectionate at the socials, and that he knows that right now I am not ready for exclusivity (he doesn't know how I feel about the ex fiance and he doesn't need to know), but I do enjoy him and spending time with him. I always have had a good time. He was content with this response.

He further explained that he is very proud to walk with me and he is lucky to get to know me and be the one to be with me. Then he told me, in non perverted words, that his penis won't be able to act like a gentleman much longer around me.

Hehe.

Other then that... Everything with him has been smoooooth sailing but obviously, if you read the post below this one, I still have some unresolved love for the Ex Fiance.